


For a Horse With Wings

by orphan_account



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Equestrian, M/M, Mental Health Issues, bottom!Castiel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-03-22
Updated: 2015-04-28
Packaged: 2017-12-06 03:26:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 41,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/730975
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean has worked with horses all his life, but work as a ranch hand doesn’t pay the bills to put his brother through school. When a job opportunity to be the groom at Golden Gate Farms for one of the most decorated eventers of the time pops up, Dean hops on the chance. Unfortunately, Castiel Novak turns out to be a huge dick.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Dean shouldn’t be here. He felt completely out of place in this millions of dollar stable with its million dollar horses. Even his best pair of jeans had holes in them and his boots were scuffed and unpolished. Most of his life had been spent with horses, but it was always on ranches. This…this was a completely different ball-game. English horses were treated better than royalty and lived far more lavish lives than he and Sammy. To think that he – a simple ranch hand – could take care of these horses was almost laughable. But the advertised pay was good…real good. He had to start making more cash for Sam. 

The dark stained wood of the stalls was polished and dust free, each horse having their name engraved on a plaque on their stall door. Every halter was leather and perfectly hung on a golden hook. Water buckets didn’t have even a strand of hay floating in them and all the shavings were fresh. Shit. What the fuck was he doing here? They didn’t even use shavings at the barns he had been in.

“Can I help you, son?”

Dean jumped at the rough voice that came from an older man with hard lines and a graying beard. He was leaning against a pitchfork in a stall giving him a weary look. “Oh, uh, I’m looking for Chuck Shurley. I have an appointment with him.”

The man raised a questioning eyebrow, “You sure don’t look like you’ve got much experience in this kind of work.”

Dean frowned and crossed his arms defensively, “I’ve worked with horses all my life.”

The man gave an amused huff, “What, barrel racers and cattle horses? Take it from someone who has worked both worlds, son, this ain’t no place for a cowboy.”

“Man, you know nothing about me,” Dean scoffed. “I’m a quick learner and I’m good with _all_ horses.”

“It ain’t the horses you should be worried about,” he pointed out as he continued to muck the stall he was working on. “There’s a reason Castiel hasn’t been able to keep a groom for more than a month. He’s stubborn as all hell and ain’t very forgiving when mistakes are made.”

Great. The rider was a complete dick. “Look, I’m just trying to make ends meet here, alright? I can handle a dick. Can you just tell me where Chuck is?”

“Last I saw he was tacking a horse in the west end. Go down to the crossroad and turn right. Name’s Bobby Singer…if you last long enough to need to know,” he said.

Dean nodded, “Dean Winchester. Thanks.” With his hands in his pockets he followed Bobby’s direction and found a single horse cross-tied in the center aisle with a middle-aged man throwing a saddle over its back. “Chuck Shurley?”

The man jumped at the voice and almost dropped the saddle. “Y-yes?”

Dean’s brow furrowed together. Chuck was small with a trimmed beard and exhausted eyes that seemed to jump at every sound. “I’m Dean Winchester.”

“Oh!” He exclaimed before his face fell, “Oh…um. Ok,” he thrust a leather girth into Dean’s hands, “Go ahead.”

Ok…Dean started on the left side and attached the girth to the billets on the bottom hole before switching sides and reaching under the horse. Feeding it through the loop of the breastplate he tugged gently to pull the other end through the billets and kept it loose fitting. English girths were not western cinches, but they were pretty straight forward. 

Chuck crossed his arms and shifted uncomfortably, “The breastplate isn’t done.”

“You just handed me the girth, dude,” Dean mumbled before turning back to the horse. Dean grabbed the dangling portion of the breastplate and undid the buckle. It took him a few seconds to figure out where to attach it, but he made quick work of it on both sides.

“Ok, so you aren’t completely hopeless,” Chuck breathed a sigh of relief.

“Oh gee, thanks,” Dean spat.

Chuck exhaled noisily as he reached for the bridle and began unhooking the horse. “Sorry, but when you said you didn’t have any English experience on the phone it made me nervous. If you work well with the horses I don’t mind teaching you, but it has to be on the down low. Castiel would be furious with me if I hired on someone who didn’t know a kimberwick from a pelham.”

“Uh,” Dean was frowning through confusion, “I don’t.”

“Exactly!” Chuck exclaimed, “But I’m desperate! I’ve stopped getting calls completely because no one wants to work with him. Word gets out fast in the equestrian world.”

Dean watched as Chuck finished buckling all the different parts of the bridle. “So what’s this dude’s deal?”

Chuck shrugged as he lifted the reins over the horse’s head and looped them gently into the palm of his hand. “Ever since his brother Michael threatened to shut the farm down if we didn’t start bringing in money Castiel has been insufferable. Everything suddenly went to fun and the well-being of the horses to winning and money.”

“So his brother holds all the cards to this place?”

“Yeah, and he’s a huge asshole. Castiel wasn’t always like this, but the stress has just pushed him over the edge. The horses are really picking up on it and they are starting to perform worse. Take this guy here; Uriel,” he gave the large black horse a pat on his neck, “He has always been a powerhouse in dressage, but lately all he wants to do is pull on the bit and buck during lead changes. Don’t even get me started on Gabriel. There’s a reason his nickname is ‘Loki’ around here. Last cross-country schooling he ducked out last second on every fence leaving Castiel looking at him from the ground.”

Dean felt a little bad for Castiel after listening to Chuck’s story. It sounded a lot like where he was coming from. Dean’s father, John, had owned Winchester Ranch and they had bred and trained cutting horses for as long as he could remember. Ever since there was the barn fire that killed his mother and most of their horses, his father had never been the same. He had turned to heavy drinking and left the training to Sam and Dean. It didn’t take long until they had to sell the farm and John committed suicide from the depression leaving Dean with the care of his younger brother. 

“Look,” Chuck sighed, “I’m more than happy to give you a chance, but ultimately it’s up to Castiel whether or not you get hired. You should go buy a nice pair of kahakis and a polo and come back tomorrow, he -,”

“Chuck, Gabriel threw his back right shoe, I need you to -,” the man who had just rounded the corner with a smaller chestnut in tow came to a halt at the sight of Dean. “Who is this?”

“Um,” Chuck whimpered, “This is a potential new groom for you.”

The man’s eyes narrowed in a harsh look before answering curtly, “No.” Turning his attention back to Chuck he continued, “I need you to call Rufus and have him come out here immediately to fix it and while-,”

“ _No_?” Dean interjected in a low growl. “Are you serious?”

The man Dean assumed must be Castiel stared at him with cold and brilliant blue eyes. “If you think for a moment you can walk into my stable looking as such, you are sadly mistaken. I am not here to hire charity cases.”

Dean’s jaw clenched tightly and his fists balled, “Yeah, well, maybe if you worried less about looks and more about skill you wouldn’t spend so much time on the ground.”

Chuck gasped as Castiel’s head eyes snapped to Dean’s with his jaw set firmly. With a slight tilt of his head Castiel’s eyes twinkled with amusement. “Chuck, have him fetch Lucifer for me. _If_ you can catch him, saddle him and prepare him for jumping work. By some chance you manage to complete this task, I’ll hire you.” Castiel traded horses with Chuck and walked away without another word.

“ _Lucifer_?” Dean asked in a condescending tone of disbelief, “You have a horse named _Lucifer_?”

“Oh man,” Chuck whined, “Lucifer is the worst. If you can get him in the arena he’s a star, but he has about the worst ground manners of any horse I’ve ever worked with. Catching him can take hours.”

“Then why turn him out?” Dean asked as he began helping Chuck un-tack Gabriel. 

“Because if you don’t he starts rearing in the stalls and beating down the door. He’s insufferable,” Chuck sighed and shook his head as he went in to the tack room and placed everything to the side to clean before putting it away for the day. “Come on, I’ll take you to him and then you are on your own.” Ensuring that Gabriel was hooked to the cross-ties he grabbed Lucifer’s halter and motioned for Dean to follow.

Lucifer was a tall, gray Irish Sport Horse who was just beaming with pride out in the paddock. Chuck thrust the halter into Dean’s hands and walked away. With a heavy sigh Dean opened the gate and slid the bolt back in to place behind him. With caution he began approaching the gelding who was peacefully grazing a few feet in front of him. Right as Dean was about to reach out with his fingers to touch him he bolted. With several bucks and snorts Lucifer galloped around, tail held high in agitation.

Dean felt the heat inside him rise to a boil. Oh, yes. Lucifer was one of those. He’d had his share of these back on the ranch. “Alright, Satan, we can play this game.” Dean sat back and let Lucifer have his run before slowly walking him into a corner. Lucifer halted in the far end and raised his head with a loud snort. Dean stayed still, keeping eye contact and asserting his dominance. Sure enough when Dean got within a certain distance Lucifer made to bolt again, but Dean was ready and stepped right into the line of the gelding causing him to stop and pivot on his hind end to switch direction. Once again Dean was quick and stepped in front of him. 

This continued for several more passes before Lucifer backed up, gave several loud snorts, and lowered his head. Dean took his opening and tossed the lead rope over the gelding’s neck and secured the halter. Lucifer gave a strong paw at the ground and Dean yanked at his lead rope, “Hey! None of that bullshit.” Lucifer shook his head but did not paw again. Dean gave him a pat on the nose and began leading the horse out of the paddock.

When Dean passed by the wash stall Chuck dropped the hose causing it to go haywire and spooking Gabriel. Lucifer, out of spite, began rearing back in Dean’s hand. Dean cursed as he reigned Lucifer in, “Dammit, Chuck!”

Chuck fumbled to turn off the water and chanted, “Sorry, sorry, sorry! Oh my god! I’m sorry! I just – holy crap how did you catch him so fast?”

Dean mumbled something under his breath as he hooked Lucifer to the cross-ties. “It’s just about showing him whose boss, dude. Is it ok to use those brushes on him?” He pointed to the grooming tote by the door. Chuck nodded and Dean got to work with the brushes. “Hey, Chuck, why does Castiel need a groom if he’s got you?”

“Oh,” Chuck responded as he took a towel to his face, “I’m actually his sister’s groom, Anna. I’ve been having to pull double duty for them lately and it’s exhausting.”

When Dean ran his hand down the gelding’s leg to pick up his foot, Lucifer leaned hard against him. Dean’s scowl deepened as he pushed right back up against him. Lucifer had the upper hand and Dean quickly realized he wasn’t going to win. With a jab of the hoof pick to Lucifer’s underbelly Dean had his hoof lifted. Lucifer gave a displeased snort. “Yeah, well, I asked nicely first.”

Chuck showed Dean the right boots, saddle, and bridle to put on the horse explaining what the types and purpose for everything was. Dean was just finishing buckling the throat latch on Lucifer’s bridle when Castiel rounded the corner with Uriel and stopped in his tracks. 

Dean couldn’t help but respond with smug satisfaction, “No problems here.”

Castiel was slow to approach, soaking in the fact that this stranger had been able to wrangle Lucifer so easily. Silent for several moments he kept his eyes on Dean while speaking to Chuck, “Have Mr…”

“Dean. Dean Winchester,” Dean smirked.

“-Winchester sign the appropriate paperwork and show him where he will be living. Assure that when he comes to work tomorrow he is in appropriate attire.” Castiel lifted his chin and stepped forward so that he was almost nose-to-nose with Dean staring directly into his eyes. “I’m intrigued. Lucifer will be my last mount today. Help Chuck complete these tasks. Your first full day will be tomorrow. I’m assuming you can manage that, Dean?”

Dean swallowed uncomfortably at the man invading his personal space but nodded, “Yeah, sure thing, _Cas_.” Dean took Uriel from Castiel and handed Lucifer over. With a slow pat to the horse’s neck he hung his head back and groaned.

What the hell had he gotten himself into?


	2. Chapter 2

“Well, this is it,” Chuck said as he flipped the lights on in the loft over the barn. “Sorry, you’ll be rooming with me…I swear I’m clean and mind my own business.”

Dean dropped his bag on the bed on the far end, “It’s fine, really.” It was way nicer than any of the places he had lived before. Most of the lofts he stayed in at ranches barely had plumbing let alone a TV and god-forbid internet. Everything was clean and expensive looking. The furniture was a dark rich wood and the off-white walls were decorated with framed art.

“Um, we’ve got cable, internet, you know the works. So whenever you want to bring all your stuff over I’ll help you get it up.”

Dean pointed to his bag, “That’s all I got.”

“Oh,” Chuck’s shoulders slumped. “Ok. Well, you’re going to go need to get clothes for tomorrow. Everyone has to wear khaki’s and a polo. Let me know your size and I’ll get you our barn polo ordered for shows and events.”

“Jesus,” Dean scoffed, “Castiel has so much of a stick up his ass he requires uniforms?”

“It’s Michael’s rule, not Castiel’s,” Chuck corrected, “but he is too afraid to disobey so he enforces it.”

Dean took a seat on the bed that was dressed in expensive linens and ran a hand through his hair with a glance to his bag. Last time he had counted money there wasn’t much left. Sam’s books for school had cost more than last semester and it had hit his budget hard. Well, hopefully there was a Goodwill around here. Rubbing his face over with a rough hand he nodded, “Ok. I’ll take care of it.”

“So, do you cook?” Chuck asked as he headed towards the small kitchen. 

“Yeah,” Dean nodded firmly, “I’m not bad.”

“I tell you what,” Chuck began as he grabbed a coke from the fridge, “If you cook I’ll pay for all the food.”

Dean didn’t hesitate with his response, “Deal! Just let me know what kind of food you like and I can figure out what I’ll need.”

Chuck’s face lit up, “Great! I’m tired of eating frozen food all the time. I kind of ruin everything I try and cook. Oh!” he headed for the bookshelf that was towards Dean’s end of the room and pulled out several books before handing them over to Dean. “These will teach you about all the types of bits and pieces of tack you’ll need to know about working around here. The bottom one is a just a general book about eventing. Should probably know a little bit about what we actually do here. There’s DVDs from all of Castiel’s competitions by the TV, too.”

Dean took the proffered books and put them on the nightstand. Any hopes he had of going out for a beer were dashed for a while. “Thanks, Chuck, you’ve been a really huge help.”

Chuck gave a small and uncomfortable laugh, “Well, I try. Um. Well. I get down to the barn by seven every morning to go around and make sure everyone’s up and healthy and give any medications and all that.”

“Seven,” Dean sighed, “Got it. I’ll be ready to go.” Reaching into his pocket he pulled out his car keys, “I’m going to go try and find something. If you want I can pick up some food on the way back.” Chuck mouthed a ‘sure’ and Dean made his way out of the barn and to the only constant in his life; the Impala. 

Goodwill’s selection wasn’t vast, but it was going to have to do. The two pairs of khakis fit but were so long they trailed even with his boots on, and the polos were a size too small stretching across his muscles. It was cheap, though, so he couldn’t complain. Too much. He could tape the khakis for a make-shift hem and he’d just make sure to air dry the shirts. 

Chuck and Dean ate the burgers in mostly silence as the other man was hunched closely over his laptop inputting what the Winchester assumed was some sort of record keeping for the horses. Great. Another thing he was probably expected to have and didn’t. Computers were fucking expensive. Castiel was just going to have to deal with the good old fashioned way. 

/*/

“First thing we do every morning is check our assigned horses,” Chuck began as they walked down the dimly lit aisle. The horses were quietly munching away at their morning feed and hay. “Bobby tries to look over them when he feeds, but it’s only a brief glimpse.”

“Ok, so whose horses are who?” Dean asked as Chuck unlocked the office room and flipped a switch.

“I’ll write them on the board until you get it. Here,” Chuck picked up a dry-erase marker and began writing, “Uriel is Anna’s show horse, and Raphael and Joshua are under her training. I think she’s going to end up keeping Joshua, but who knows. Lucifer and Gabriel are Castiel’s project horses. Inias and Balthazar are his show mounts.” Chuck turned to Dean with a stern face, “Let me stress something to you; Inias is Castiel’s favorite horse. Anything happens to him and your head rolls.”

“Yeah, yeah, I got it,” Dean mumbled. Ok, so four horses…that couldn’t be too bad. “I’m guessing Anna isn’t around since Cas was riding her horses yesterday?”

Chuck nodded, “She’s on vacation with her husband right now. She’ll be back the end of the week. We’ll work on everyone together, today. I wish I could just spend all week teaching you, but…”

Dean waved him off in understanding, “I get it. I’m used to being thrown to the wolves. Let’s just get this show on the road.”

Chuck gave a slow nod and started out of the office when there was a huge crashing noise from one of the stalls. Chuck jumped and then let out a loud whimper, “That would be Lucifer…we should probably turn him out before he tears down the entire stable. Do-do you think…?”

Dean rolled his eyes, “I got it, dude.” As he approached the stall he knew to be Lucifer’s he gave the door a bang and in his meanest big brother voice he growled, “Knock it off!” The gray horse flinched back and stood still eyeing Dean as he grabbed the leather halter and entered the stall. Dean crossed his arms and stood his ground in front of the horse. After several seconds of their staring contest Lucifer pinned back his ears flat against his head and lunged forward to take a chunk from Dean’s forearm, but the Winchester was quick and batted the horse’s nose away. 

It wasn’t forceful, but the jump backwards from Lucifer and the wide eyes made it seem like Dean had knocked the life out of him. Dean smirked, “Not so tough when someone stands up to you now, are you? You big baby, I barely touched you.” Cautiously Dean reached out a hand towards the horse’s neck, stroking it gently as he took two steps forward. Lucifer was tense, but he made no moves to attack again. With a deep breath and relaxed shoulders Dean put on the halter and grabbed just under the clip of the lead rope before beginning to walk out of the stall. Lucifer seemingly gave little warning when he reared and bolted forward for the door, but Dean had sensed it. Without even bothering to turn around Dean tugged hard on the lead rope and slammed back into Lucifer’s chest. 

“Oh, I’m sorry did I say you could go first?” Dean’s eyes narrowed as he held his place firmly in front of the stall door. He stood still for several moments before trying again. This time, Lucifer stayed several steps back from the man. 

“Well fuck me sideways,” a rough voice bellowed. Dean stopped and saw Bobby leaning against a pitchfork looking at him with a raised eyebrow. “Ain’t seen no one handle that horse like that before. Chuck here is too scared to get within eye-sight.” Chuck gave a groan, but made no attempts to object. 

“Worst thing you can do is show them fear,” Dean responded. “I’ve been run over enough that I can’t be afraid of it anymore.”

Bobby gave an amused snort, “Just wait until you get to be my age, son. That’ll change. I’ve taken enough hooves to the feet, stomach, and head to last me a lifetime.” Adjusting his stance he added, “I may have been wrong about you. You work with the other horses like you handle Lucifer and you just might make it the month.”

“Comforting,” Dean mumbled as he began to walk off again to take Lucifer to his turn-out. 

“You think he can do it?” Bobby gave a glance to Chuck.

Chuck gave a hesitant shrug, “I-I don’t know. I mean, he knows nothing about what we do, but…geez. Not even you can get Lucifer to behave like that.”

Bobby drew in a deep breath through his nod and began nodding to himself. “I like him. He’s got balls. Maybe an outside perspective is what Castiel needs to get his head back on straight. We’ve got our work cut out for ourselves, though.”

“You’re telling me,” Chuck squeaked. 

When Dean returned Chuck took him through the stalls introducing him to each horse and checking them over for any injuries. As they approached the last horse, Chuck grew even more nervous than he normally was. “This is Inias. I mean it, Dean. You can’t let anything happen to this horse, ever.” He slid the bolt over and opened the door to reveal a very tall bay thoroughbred. 

Dean whistled, “Damn. Look at him. He’s all leg.” Dean ran his hands down the gelding’s smooth neck and side, “Off the track?”

Chuck nodded, “Castiel saved him. He was headed to the slaughter-house when Castiel offered to take him off the owner’s hands for a few hundred bucks in cash right then. This horse means more than anything in the world to Castiel.”

“Hey buddy,” Dean whispered soothingly as Inias shoved his muzzle into the man’s hand. Running his fingers up the crooked stripe of his face he began to massage the area painted with a white star. Instantly Inias dropped his head and shoved it into Dean’s chest. The horse’s lower lip began to twitch in pleasure and big brown eyes began to droop. 

Chuck’s lips parted in surprise. “How do you do that?”

“I know you all think I’m some bimbo cowboy, but we didn’t use traditional methods at our ranch. My dad was a firm believer that if you wanted a horse to work for you, that you had to get them to trust you. Trust comes from love, not fear. My dad was always patient with young horses. He never worked them until they just broke.”

Chuck was about to speak when he heard footsteps from behind. Castiel was too quick for him to provide Dean with any warning.

“Chuck, there you are. I -,” Castiel stopped as he spotted Inias curled into Dean.

Dean stopped his movements and took a step back from the horse who snorted in disappointment. “Sorry,” he apologized, “You probably want to ride him and I’ve got him all relaxed and shit…”

Castiel stood frozen and silent, his bright blue eyes staring intently at Dean. The Winchester wasn’t sure if he was angry, confused or well….what the hell he was feeling. There was an awkward tension in the air before Castiel finally lifted his chin and said, “Please saddle Inias for jumping. Bring him to the arena and stay. I will need you on the course. Chuck, I need you to handle Gabriel for Rufus when he comes.”

Chuck nodded as Castiel walked off. “Ok…that was…”

“Weird?” Dean filled in the man’s blank. “What the hell does he mean by needing me on course?” He asked as Chuck handed him Inias’s halter. 

“He wants you to fix the jumps for him. If he hits one, you put it back up. If he needs one raised or lowered, you do that for him. It keeps him from having to constantly get on and off to adjust things,” Chuck explained. “Come on, put him in the cross-ties and I’ll show you which tack is his.”

Dean did as he was told and met the other groom in the large tack room. It was seriously overwhelming to look at all the saddles, bits, and miscellaneous items and not have the slightest idea what any of it was. For crying out loud he’d been around horses all his life, but this was like starting all over.

Chuck placed a hand on one of the saddles, “This is Inias and Gabriel’s show jumping saddle. Clean saddle pads are this stack here, and dirty ones go in that basket. I usually put them in there after 6 or 7 uses.” He moved to a set of hooks, “All of the horses use these breastplates when doing any sort of jumping. Some of these have running martingale attachments to them,” he held up a piece of the breastplate that was two small strips of leather with metal rings on the end. “That’s these. Use those with Inias and Lucifer.” 

Dean’s lips drew into a thin line and his brow furrowed. “So explain to me what the hell that thing does, anyway.”

“It applies pressure to the bit without having to get a meaner one. Inias and Lucifer can get really strong out on jumping and cross-country courses, so it allows for better breaks basically. Castiel doesn’t like using strong bits, but Inias still acts like a racehorse out on cross-country courses and he can be hard to handle. Lucifer is just…well he’s Lucifer.” He moved to the bridles hanging on the far wall, “Each horse has their own bridle for jumping and dressage. For the most part if you just know which is which you’re ok, but sometimes he does ask to switch out bits. You will have to learn them.” He grabbed at one of the bridles, “This is Inias’s. The nose band is called a ‘figure-eight’. Like the running martingale it helps with control with horses like Inias. This bit is called a Waterford.”

Dean’s eyebrows shot up. “That looks like a torture device.” The portion of the bit that went into the horse’s mouth looked like a bike chain.

Chuck gave a small laugh, “It’s really not. These different balls here conform to the horse’s mouth giving an even pressure which allows for more control. It’s really good for strong horses. Any bit can be a torture device in the wrong hands, though.” He put the bridle back on the wall and moved to the girths. “Inias is a 48. Put the girths back where you found them, because they are sorted by size. Last thing is boots. They all pretty much wear the same size boot so you just grab a pair of front ones. I’ll show you how to put them on. Any questions?”

Dean shook his head, “Tons, man, but it’s probably better just to get going and let me figure this out.”

Chuck hummed in understanding, “You at least remember where the grooming stuff is?”

Dean gave a nod and made to start collecting the items and grooming Inias. He had little trouble tacking the thoroughbred, quickly catching on to the unfamiliar tack. Inias had the best ground manners out of the few horses Dean had worked with, but he sure was needy. Every time he passed by the horse’s head he gave a nudge with his muzzle begging to be pet. “Work first, reward later,” Dean said each time. 

With the bridle on Chuck handed Dean the reins. “Don’t forget to put the reins through the rings in the martingale and tighten the girth when you get out there. Just stay silent at the gate and wait for any instruction he gives you during his ride. Got it?”

“Sure,” Dean groaned, “I got it.” Castiel was waiting for him when he brought Inias into the fully enclosed arena and adjusted the tack. Dean took it all in as he worked. Jesus, he was pretty sure this freaking arena had air conditioning. “Guess you don’t ever have to worry about the weather in here, huh?”

Castiel took the reins and moved directly into Dean’s space, forcing him away. “No.”

Dean rolled his eyes and headed for the gate. With crossed arms he leaned against it and watched as Castiel mounted and nudged Inias into a walk. Watching that horse move was like watching an angel fly. His movements were flawless and effortless as he floated across the sand. Dean couldn’t help but become enthralled in a trance. The warm-up jumps were set low, but Inias jumped them like he was flying over the moon. 

Bringing Inias back down to a walk Castiel called out to Dean, “Raise them to 3’ 9”.”

Dean pushed himself off the gate and headed to the first of the three jumps Castiel had been going over. There were no markings on the standards to indicate their height. Fuck. Dean took the pole out of the cup and guessed. He had finished with the first jump when Castiel brought Inias to a halt next to him.

“That’s wrong.” His voice was laced with annoyance. 

Dean clenched his jaw and bit at his lip to keep from lashing out immediately. “Sorry, I didn’t see any markings on here.”

With an irritated sigh Castiel began to explain, “Each hole is three inches starting at 18. Fix it.”

Dean resisted the urge to make a snide remark as Castiel moved away again. He counted the holes until he reached 3’9”. One hole above where he had originally guessed. One. What a douchebag. After correcting the jump and adjusting the others he moved back to his place as Castiel put Inias into a canter. Inias didn’t even seem to register the height change and cleared them effortlessly. 

It wasn’t until Castiel moved on to another set of jumps that shit seemed to hit the fan and fast. Inias came to a slamming halt at a blue and yellow jump with boxes painted like bricks at the base. Dean watched intently as Castiel circled Inias back around and tried again with the same exact result. Dean knew exactly why Inias was stopping. Castiel was rigid with nerves. With Chuck’s word of advice flying right out the door Dean asked, “What are you afraid of?”

Castiel’s head snapped towards Dean and he glared. “I’m not afraid of anything.”

Dean rolled his eyes, “Yeah, right. It’s written all over you, dude. Inias isn’t afraid of the jump, you are, and he feels it. What are you afraid of?”

“Your job is not to critique me,” Castiel spat, “It is to be quiet and follow orders.”

Dean threw his hands up in defeat, “Fine.” The next time Inias made it over the jump, but he knocked the top rail with his back hooves. Dean watched out of the corner of his eye as he fixed the jump and Castiel went down the far line. Inias knocked a rail on every jump. Dean was the first to admit to himself that he knew basically nothing of jumping, but you didn’t need to know anything about horses to read people. Castiel had absolutely no confidence.

By the time Castiel finally made it through the course without knocking everything down he was already in a state of defeat. Dean could see it all in the slumped shoulders and downcast eyes. A small part of Dean almost felt sorry for him. A very small part. Maybe like a sliver. When Castiel dismounted and gave him the reins, Dean made full eye contact and spoke firmly, “You’re scared,” before leading Inias away. 

Chuck was talking with a tall black man that Dean assumed to be the farrier when he brought Inias back into the aisle to the crossties. Their conversation came to a halt when they noticed him. The farrier – Rufus? – picked up his tools and began working on Gabriel while Chuck moved towards Dean. 

“How did it go?”

Dean removed the bridle and put the halter back over Inias’s head, “You weren’t joking when you said his riding had gone downhill. I don’t know shit about jumping, but the dude is flat out scared of doing it. Inias was picking up on it like a magnet.”

“Dean.” Castiel cut into the conversation like a knife. His jaw was hard set and eyes were cold. “A word?”

Dean licked his lips and sighed. Great. This was probably where he got fired. So much for lasting a day let alone a month. “Yeah.” With a pat to Inias’s neck he left the horse to Chuck and followed Castiel to the office. 

Castiel slammed the door shut and remained staring at it, his back to Dean and arms crossed. Dean waited for him to say something, but he made no indication that he was going to speak anytime soon. Tired of waiting he blurted out, “Look man, I’m not sorry for what I said. I don’t care if you were butt-hurt -,”

“How?”

Dean gave a perplexed look to Castiel’s back. “How what?”

Castiel turned; his face had softened to one of determination. “How did you know I’m scared?”

Dean stood up straight and looked Castiel up and down. Even now the man’s stance indicated nerves and uncertainty. “You’re straighter than a god damn board when you start jumping out there. Your arms lock and your grip on the reins tighten. I’ve been around plenty of scared horses before and Inias didn’t bat an eyelash at any of the jumps. He didn’t jump them because you didn’t want to, and he didn’t want to hurt you by taking you over something you weren’t ready for.”

Dean watched as Castiel turned his head in embarrassment and his cheeks flushed red. “So you admit it? You’re scared?”

“No!” Castiel exclaimed in self-defense. “I...was simply curious as to what made you think that.”

“Ok, seriously?” Dean shook his head. Was this guy for real? “Fine. I don’t really give a crap if you place last at every show you go to. I’m just here to take orders, right?” He brushed past Castiel and out the door. 

Chuck swallowed hard at Dean’s quick approach, “You ok?”

“Fine,” Dean responded curtly and took Inias’s lead rope, “I’ve got him.”

Castiel did not come back. Dean looked all over the barn for him after turning Inias out to see what horse he wanted to work with next, but he was nowhere to be found. What a freaking baby. Dean felt no sympathy for the rider and held true to what he had said. Chuck didn’t seem too surprised at Castiel’s disappearance and used the time to go over more tack with Dean. 

/*/

Bobby had fed the horses and Chuck had done his final rounds. The sun was almost completely set, but Dean had yet to go up to the loft. Instead he found himself in Inias’s stall, fingers running circles across the gelding’s forehead again. He was seated on a clean portion of the shavings with the bay’s head lowered all the way to the ground in complete satisfaction. Dean didn’t know why, but he had felt an instant connection with Inias despite the feeling the need to ignore the horse completely to spite Castiel. 

“Does Cas ever do this with you?” Dean asked. “Doubt it. He kind of seems like he doesn’t know your head from your ass, dude. How do you put up with him?”

“Because he must.”

Dean smacked his head against the wall in shock of the sudden voice. With a curse under his breath at the throbbing pain he scrambled to his feet and brushed off the shavings. Castiel was leaning over the stall door.

“And I am very much aware of which end is which,” He said matter-of-factly. 

“It was a joke, Cas…” Jesus, did he take everything so literally? “Sorry, I didn’t think anyone was around.”

“Twice now I have seen you spending unnecessary extra time with Inias.” Castiel cocked his head, “Why?”

Dean gave a frown at the man’s words, “No time spent with your horse is unnecessary. Don’t you ever spend time with your horses outside of riding?”

“No,” Castiel responded plainly.

Somehow Dean wasn’t particularly shocked by the answer. “Don’t you think that maybe that’s why you are having issues?”

Castiel’s brow knit together in puzzlement, “I do not understand how that would make a difference in our jumping performance.”

“Clearly your father didn’t love you enough,” Dean said in jest as leaned against the door on the opposite side.

“My father was never around. I do not remember him ever declaring his love for me or my siblings,” Castiel said, his voice void of any emotion.

Well, that made Dean feel like an asshole. Dean gave Castiel’s profile a sympathetic look. At least it was something to work with. “And how did that make you feel? I bet you didn’t like it.”

“I did not know any different. I’ve grown used to the absence of affection.”

Dean looked away towards the stall across the aisle way. Uriel’s hind end was visible and his tail was swishing slightly. “But don’t you ever wish it had been different? That your dad had told you that he loved you?”

Castiel contemplated the question for several moments before responding, “I suppose it would have been nice.”

“Ok, well, Inias would think it was nice if his dad told him he loved him once in a while, too. You take care of Inias and he’ll take care of you. It’s all I’m saying.” 

“Michael says we should not get too attached. They are just animals,” Castiel explained.

Dean reached over the stall door and unlocked it. When Castiel backed away he opened the door and shut it behind him as he exited the stall. “Michael sure does say a lot of shit for something he doesn’t even seem to be involved in. Do you think Inias is just an animal?”

Castiel let his head hang, “No.”

“So then maybe you should tell Michael to stick it where the sun don’t shine. Have a good night, Cas.”

Castiel watched silently as Dean made for the stairs that lead to the loft. Dean Winchester…Castiel had never felt so confused over someone in his life.


	3. Chapter 3

It only took the first week for Dean to know the horses at Golden Gates inside and out. Uriel and Lucifer were bullies, except Uriel only picked on the other horses rather than the people. Under saddle Uriel didn’t offer much trouble, but Lucifer was a god damn time-bomb waiting to explode. Gabriel lived up to his nickname Loki – the trickster. Whenever Dean turned his back Gabriel would fling his saddle pad off his back or toss the grooming tools clear across the aisle. In his stall he was constantly playing with his water buckets and dumping them all over the floor, but Dean had learned the horse’s weakness quickly; peppermints. Gabriel seemed to melt into his hand whenever he offered one of the candies. Raphael and Balthazar thought they were God’s gift to the equestrian world. They demanded special treatment and were complete show-offs in the arena. Joshua was the oldest and had the wisest eyes Dean had ever seen in a horse. The warmblood was kind and gentle and offered no trouble to Dean.

Then there was Inias, the horse who only wanted to be loved by his master. Dean never liked to get too attached to horses, because he knew most of them were only in training to be sold. Inias, though, was quickly rooting himself firmly in Dean’s heart. 

Dean was currently eating leftovers from the previous night and reading one of the books Chuck had given him up in the loft for his lunch break. He moved to flip the page when his phone started ringing. One look at the caller ID had him grinning from ear-to-ear, “Sammy!”

_“Dean! I wasn’t sure if you’d be able to answer.”_

“Come on, you know I’ll always answer for you. How are your new classes?”

_“Really good! It’s a lot of hard work, but my grades are holding and I think I’m going to have a good chance at getting some more money. I know you weren’t happy about taking the new job…I’m really sorry, Dean.”_

“Hey,” Dean cut in firmly, “Don’t you ever be sorry. You know I’d do anything for you. And besides, it’s not really all that bad.” God, it wasn’t even convincing to himself. 

_“Yeah…really, Dean, how is it?”_

Dean ran a hand over his face and shrugged even though Sam couldn’t see it from the other end of the line, “The people I work with are great, really. It’s my boss that’s a complete and utter dick with a severe case of daddy issues. Do you know he doesn’t have any interactions with his own horses other than hopping on and off? It’s not right, dude.”

_“So then maybe you both can learn from each other. Maybe you can show him join-up.”_

Dean snorted. “Yeah, right. He’s not interested in any of that bullshit. I’m trying Sammy, I really am, but I don’t know how long I’m going to last before Cas fires me. The guy hates my guts.”

_“If anyone can get through it you can. Are the horses nice?”_

Dean let out a full laugh, “One of these horses costs more than our entire farm did back in the day. But, yeah, I like them. They’ve got one named freakin Lucifer and he’s a little shit, but I think we’ll reach an understanding.”

Sam laughed, _“Lucifer, really? Well, at least he lives up to his name. Well, hey, I’ve gotta get going. I just wanted to make sure you were doing ok.”_

“Stop worrying about me, huh? You just focus on your grades and becoming a big fancy pants lawyer so I can be the stay-at-home wife and mooch.”

_“You got it. Bye, Dean.”_

“Bye.” Dean ended the call and let out a sigh filled with a heavy heart. He abso-fucking-lutely needed to keep this job, even if it meant kissing Castiel’s boots every morning. Heading for the fridge he pulled out a beer and popped the cap with his ring before taking a long swig that emptied half the bottle off the bat. Sucking in a deep breath through his nostrils he brought the bottle back up to his lips and downed the rest of the alcohol. With a shake of his head he opened the door and took the stairs back down to the barn. He was feet away from the tack room to check the to-do list Chuck had put up for him when Castiel approached him with rigid and angry shoulders. Awesome.

“Dean,” Castiel’s voice was laced with spite. 

Dean rocked back onto his heels and looked up at the ceiling before answering without eye contact, “Yeah?”

“Balthazar’s tack was covered in dried sweat. Do you find that acceptable?” Castiel did not even give Dean the chance to respond. “I will not let you throw away thousands of dollars worth of tack because you could not be bothered to clean it after use.”

Dean blinked slowly in surprise. The fuck? “I cleaned his tack after the last time you rode him.”

“Then you did so poorly,” Castiel growled in his deep voice. “Not only was the tack disgusting, but you are past your lunch break.”

Dean bit hard at the inside of his mouth to keep himself calm. “My brother called, I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”

“See that it doesn’t. I need Gabriel spotless, clipped, and braided in the morning. I want to start collecting film for a sale video.” Castiel stared hard at Dean before he tilted his head in wonder and then hardened his eyes. “You _do_ know how to braid?” Dean opened his mouth, but nothing came out. With flared nostrils Castiel began, “Unbelievable. I should have known better than to give some wannabe _cowboy_ the chance.”

Dean felt his body grow hot in anger. Maybe he was imagining it, but he was sure the corner of his vision was turning red. Fists were balled tight enough to draw blood before Dean raised a finger at the other man, “You know nothing about me.” With a lick of his lips he was about to just let loose on Castiel, but Sam’s voice in his head had him lowering his hand and turning his head away to give himself a brief moment to calm down. “He’ll be ready in the morning.”

“Good,” Castiel said simply before brushing past Dean, their shoulders touching, and walking away. 

When Dean walked into the office his fingers were laced so tightly in his hair he thought he’d pull the scalp clean off. Chuck was staring at him with wide and scared eyes. “What?!” It came out a lot harsher than he meant it.

“Dean, I-I’m so sorry. He’s never been like this with anyone before,” Chuck apologized. “He’s been tough on the other grooms, but never downright mean.”

“Yeah, well, I blame myself and my god-damn mouth. He’s pissed I told him he was scared when he rides,” Dean mumbled as he took a seat at the table. 

“Oh,” Chuck’s voice dropped, his fingers gently tapping against the desk top, “Castiel really hates it when people critique him.”

“ _No_ ,” Dean gasped in pure sarcasm, “You think?” His leg bounced up in down as he let his head hang back. “Shit. I have no fucking idea how to braid.”

Chuck sucked in a breath, “Please tell me you at least can do like….a braid.”

Dean groaned, “I mean, yeah, but I don’t know how to do the fancy shit. We always just did half-assed ones when the horses’ manes got too long.”

Chuck put his fingertips to his lips in deep thought before responding, “Ok. Well, that’s a start. Braiding is hard. It takes a lot of practice to get good and efficient at it. The first show is in two weeks, so you’ll have to be able to do it by then on your own. For now, we can braid his mane tonight. I can’t leave the forelock in over night, but I can at least show you. We’ll start after feeding.”

Dean hung his head and shook it slowly, “You don’t deserve this, dude. You aren’t getting paid to teach me all this crap. I should know it.”

“Maybe, but I don’t want you to go. The last few grooms Castiel has hired acted like they knew everything and tried to boss me around like they owned the place. It’s kind of nice knowing I know way more than you. It makes me feel good about myself.” Dean gave a small laugh. “Plus, man, I really like you. You really try, and you are so good with the horses. I love that I don’t have to deal with Lucifer anymore! And your cooking, god, please don’t make me go back to eating frozen food every night.” 

Dean let out a heavy sigh, “Alright, alright. It’s a good thing I didn’t punch Cas in the face like I really wanted a few minutes ago. Probably would have gotten me fired.”

“I don’t know how you do it,” Chuck admitted, “I would have quit. I’m lucky to have Anna. She’s really nice and just super calm about everything. Nothing gets her riled up.”

Dean offered him a fake smile, “Must be nice.”

“Um, well, Gabriel doesn’t roll, so you’re probably safe going ahead and giving him a bath now. You can just leave him in the stall afterwards.”

Dean nodded and with a final pat of his hand on the table he stood. “Alright, I’ll take care of it. Thanks again, man.”

“Sure,” Chuck nodded.

/*/

“Ok,” Chuck began, nibbling at his lower lip as he tried to figure out where to begin in this lesson. He stared at Gabriel for a long moment before continuing, “First thing to do is to get the braids in. You want them to be as even as possible. This tool will come in handy for you,” He held up a small comb that had three dividers. “You’ll be able to just eye-ball it later, but for now,” he ran the comb through a section of the mane and it divided it into three perfect sections. “See? Easy. You can use these clips,” he pulled a silver piece from his pocket and clipped back the hair he was not holding, “to help keep the rest of the mane out of the way while you are working. Can you hand me that bottle there?”

Dean gave him the white squirt bottle and Chuck continued, “This stuff helps the braids hold.” He squired the section of hair and ran his fingers through it before parting it once more with the comb. “Then you braid it. It needs to be tight.” His fingers worked quickly and he reached the end almost instantly. “Then, you take one of these pre-cut strands,” he pulled a piece of yarn that closely matched the horse’s mane from his pocket, “And you are going to start braiding the yarn in with the braid like this, and then tie it off.” Dean watched as Chuck finished off the braid. “Don’t cut the yarn. We’ll need it again later to put the braids up. You try.”

Chuck moved off the stepping stool and allowed Dean to take his place. After wetting down the portion he divided it and began braiding. It took him a lot longer than it had Chuck, but eventually he got the braid down to the same length of Chuck’s before putting in the yarn. “This good?”

“Mmm,” Chuck hummed as he stood on his tip toes to look, “It’s too loose. It’ll fall apart when you bring the yarn through the top.”

Dean groaned but undid the braid and started again. “What about now?”

“Better. Could still stand to be tighter, but it’s fine. Go ahead and braid the yarn in the rest of the way.” He handed Dean a piece of the yarn.

Dean struggled with getting the yarn positioned the correct way, and just when he thought he had it he realized he started braiding incorrectly. “Son of a bitch!”

“It’s ok!” Chuck exclaimed, “It happens. It happened a lot when I was first learning.”

“Can’t you just use a god damn rubber band?!” Dean asked, voice full of exasperation. 

“Well, a lot of people do, but Castiel is kind of a traditionalist. If you think calling him out on his riding made him mad, wait until he sees you using rubber bands to braid.”

“Traditionalist,” Dean huffed as he began braiding again, “What the fuck does that even mean? This is stupid.” This time he managed the knot without screwing things up again. He stepped back to look at it and closed his eyes in disappointment. “That took like four times what yours did. I’m going to be here all night.”

“You’ll get better as you go on, and I’ll help you. Do a few more and then we’ll switch. This is the hardest part,” Chuck assured him. 

Twenty minutes, three braids, and a million cuss words later Dean stepped off the stepping stool and raised his hands in defeat. “I officially suck at this.”

“It took me over three hours to braid my first horse and it turned out really bad,” Chuck sympathized. “You’re doing ok for your first time. Problem is, ‘ok’ is not good enough for Castiel. I’ll finish them. We can practice doing three or four braids on a horse each day until you don’t need me anymore.” 

“Yeah, ok,” Dean nodded and stepped back to let Chuck take control again. Already his fingers felt raw and required flexing. 

It took Chuck merely another ten minutes to complete the entirety of the mane. Each braid was as perfect as the one next to it. Fumbling through the box of supplies Chuck pulled out a small hook-like tool. “Ok, now we need to use this to bring the braids up and tie them off. Stick the hook in through the top like this and bring the yarn up through. Then take the yarn and bring it through the bottom of the braid and,” he put the hook in his pocket and grabbed the yarn, “tie it off in the back like this. And done!”

Dean gave a relieved sigh, “That’s not too hard.”

“Nah,” Chuck handed him the hook, “That’s the easy part. But this is why your braids have to be tight. If they aren’t they just fall apart when you do this.” The shorter man watched as Dean tied up his first braid and nodded in approval. “Good, good. Go ahead and finish the mane. Then we’ll cut the excess yarn and put on his sleazy.”

Dean raised a questioning eyebrow and he started on the next braid, “The hell’s a sleazy?”

The man chuckled, “Uh, kind of like horse pajamas. It helps keep him from rubbing the braids out overnight and it keeps him clean if he does decide to go a little crazy. Trust me; he’ll do it if we give him the excuse.”

Given the antics Gabriel loved to pull on a daily basis, Dean had no trouble believing Chuck’s words. After finishing tying all the braids up he cut the excess yarn and helped Chuck pull the ridiculously STUPID looking glittering blue _sleazy_ over Gabriel’s head. What the fuck kind of crack were these people on? None of his horses would have ever been caught dead in this shit. 

It was already well past dark by the time Dean finished putting Gabriel back in his stall. Chuck had cleaned up all the supplies and put them back into the braiding tote in the tack room. He led the charge back up to their loft. “We’ll wake up a little early so we can do the forelock. Or rather _I_ can do the forelock. Trying to teach you how to do that in an hour is kind of a hopeless cause. French braiding is a whole ‘nother story, my friend.”

“Oh goodie, more braiding,” Dean smiled sarcastically as he let himself fall onto his bed. He didn’t hear the rest of what Chuck was saying as he fell into a deep slumber.

/*/

“Shit!” Dean cursed, his fingers gripping violently at his hair. “Fuck, damn, shit!”

Chuck swallowed hard. “It’s…not so bad.”

“Not so-,” Dean sucked in a deep breath and let out a whimper. “He’s pulled out half the braids! How the hell did he manage to do that?!” Dean grabbed on to the horse’s face and looked him straight in the eyes, “WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU?!” Gabriel puckered his lips and started tossing his head. The horse was laughing at him. He was legitimately LAUGHING AT HIM.

“It’s something about Tuesdays,” Bobby said as he wheeled the wheelbarrow up to his first stall. “Ever since he’s been here, he always acts the worst on a Tuesday.”

“I barely know what day it is!” Dean exclaimed, “How the hell does he know?”

Bobby gave him a hard look, “Do I look like a horse psychic to you, boy? Whatever it is you are going to do about this, you better do it fast. I saw Castiel coming down from the house already.”

“Ok, ok, go grab the braiding tote,” Chuck said as he began working on taking out the ruined braids. “We’ll fix it.”

Dean ran into the tack room, grabbed the tote, and ran back out to find himself face to face with Castiel. Dean almost fell backwards in surprise. How the hell did that guy sneak up on him all the time?! “Um, mornin’ Cas.”

Castiel’s face was expressionless as he looked Dean’s face up and down and then turned to look at the mess Gabriel was in. Much to Dean’s astonishment, Castiel’s response was, “It happens.” Dean was chanting prayers of thanks all through his head until Castiel spoke again. “Dean can fix it. Chuck, I need you to help me prepare the arena. I want Gabriel completely tacked and ready to go in thirty minutes.”

Dean’s mouth dropped. Chuck’s eyes widened and he stepped forward, “I can finish Gabriel up, it’s no prob-,”

“I asked Dean to do it,” Castiel interjected, “but thank you.” Without turning his head his eyes made contact with Dean’s. “Thirty minutes.”

Dean bit hard into his fist to keep himself from crying out, but as soon as Castiel and Chuck were out of sight he let out a raging “Son of a BITCH.”

“You’re screwed,” Bobby muttered from inside the stall.

“Thank you, Captain Obvious!” Dean cried as he stepped up the stool and tried to fumble with the braids. “How the hell are you supposed to undo these stupid things with the stupid yarn and why the fuck do you need to braid a horse’s mane? This shit isn’t natural and it’s stupid and oh my god what the fuck am I doing-,”

“Why don’t you take to grooming and tacking him while you let me take care of his braids?”

Dean grabbed on to Gabriel’s neck to keep himself from falling off the stool in shock at the new voice. A woman with a soft face and fiery red hair was standing next to Gabriel running her hand down his face. “Uh…”

Her lips curled upwards in amusement, “I’m Anna. You surely must be Dean Winchester.”

Anna. “You’re Cas’s sister? Great. I’m sure you’ve heard all sorts of _wonderful_ things about me.”

Grinning Anna shooed Dean off the stool and let her nimble fingers go to work, “You’d be surprised.”

Dean hesitated before grabbing the grooming tools. “Why are you helping me?”

“Because,” Anna shrugged, “Anyone who makes my brother call me up practically in tears needs to stay in my opinion.”

“What?!”

“You should have heard him,” she laughed, “When you told him he was scared. He was so defensive about it, and then I swear he was actually crying when he told me you were stealing Inias away from him.”

“Hey,” Dean retorted defensively, “It’s not my fault he doesn’t spend quality time with his own freakin’ horse.”

“ I’m on your side,” Anna said firmly. “Castiel needs someone who is going to keep him on his toes when I’m not around. Wanna know a secret?” Her face lit up in all smiles, “Castiel can’t even braid.”

Dean’s face dropped as he threw the saddle over Gabriel’s back. “Seriously?”

Anna laughed, “Seriously. When he was still in Pony Club he’d always beg me with those puppy dog eyes to braid his pony for him at all his shows, and I always did. I was his ‘show mom’. Right before he’d go into the arena I’d wipe off his boots and give his horse a quick final brush. I’d hold his horse for him whenever he needed to go to the bathroom, and I always made sure he had plenty of snacks.”

Dean noticed the fondness in her eyes as she trailed off. “You really care for him.”

Anna gave a sad smile as she finished tying off the last braid. “Someone has to. There.” She cut the last piece of yarn. “The forelock will take just a second and then you can bridle him.”

“Thank you,” Dean whispered sincerely.

“Just don’t give up on him, Dean,” Anna pleaded. “All the other grooms gave up on him, and it’s only made Castiel worse these past few months.”

Dean scoffed, “Aren’t you more worried about him giving up on me?”

“No,” Anna retorted confidently. “Despite his threats, he’d never fire you unless you hurt one of his horses. He never fired the other grooms…they all quit. I know it wasn’t English, but you have worked with horses your entire life. You’ve had your ‘project’ horses, right?”

Dean nodded, “Tons.”

“So, then think of Castiel as a project horse. Give it time and patience, and he’ll show you how amazing he can truly be. Play the game.”

Play the game. _Play the game, son. If the horse wants to run, make them run until they are sick and tired of the thought. Don’t work against him, work with him._

Dean swallowed. “I don’t know why the hell I should bother, but ok. I’ll try. If I succeed though, I’m putting him on my resume under accomplishments.”

Anna let her head fall back in a laugh. “Anyone who knows Castiel in the circuit would instantly hire you if they saw that and demand to know your secret! Ah, there! All done!”

“Lifesaver as always,” Bobby spoke as he closed the stall door and moved on to the next.

“Well, I have to be good for something!” Anna giggled. 

“Anna!” Castiel’s surprised voice spoke as he approached them.

“Castiel!” Anna smiled and took her brother into an embrace. “It’s good to see you, baby brother.”

“When did you get back?” Dean could see Castiel visibly change in front of his sister. His shoulders relaxed and his eyes softened. 

“Late last night, but I just couldn’t wait to see my babies. I trust they behaved for you?” She grabbed Castiel’s hand, “Walk with me. We’ll be quick. Dean can go ahead and take Gabriel to the arena for you.”

Castiel opened his mouth to protest, but shut it when Anna began dragging him away from Dean and towards the other end of the stable where Uriel was. “You helped him.”

Anna flashed a glare at her brother, “Of course I did. You were being unfair to him. Chuck could not have done what you asked by himself.”

“Why are you defending him?” Castiel questioned.

Anna rested an elbow against Uriel’s stall and looked her brother dead in the eye. “Why are you treating him like Michael treats you”? Castiel look like he had been slapped. Anna’s voice grew cold, “Don’t think Chuck and Bobby haven’t told me their side of what’s been going on while I was away. You honestly think you are going to find someone to work for you when you treat them like that?”

“He knows nothing!” Castiel snapped. “I should have never hired someone with no English experience.”

“You hired him because he was all you had! Anyone that has Engilsh experience knows who you are and knows how you treat your grooms.” Anna sucked in a breath to calm herself and placed a gentle hand on her brother’s cheek. “Chuck will mold him exactly like you want, just let him. Give him the chance to teach Dean. Have faith.”

“Faith…” Castiel hummed, “Like you had faith in father?”

Anna’s mouth drew into a thin line. “That was different, and you know it. Father didn’t care. He did not love us. _I_ love you, Castiel. Just try.” Castiel didn’t say anything, but the conquered look he was giving her was answer enough. “Now go. Dean’s waiting for you. I’m going to steal back my groom and we’re going to take Uriel and Joshua out together.”

“Very well,” Castiel responded in defeat. Sure enough Dean was already waiting for him in the arena with Gabriel at his side. This time he waited for Dean to move out of his way before mounting. “The camera is already set up. Try and keep us centered and just record everything. Once I have compiled enough show footage Chuck can help you edit the footage.”

“Ok,” Dean nodded. He moved to where the camera was and pressed record.

/*/

Chuck breathed a sigh of relief when Anna started listing out things for him to do for her. “I’m so glad to have you back.”

“Well, I can’t save you from Castiel entirely. Promise me you’ll continue to help Dean? I gave him a talking to just as much as I did Castiel,” she mentioned.

“I seriously don’t deserve you,” Chuck whined as he began brushing off Joshua. 

“Funny, that seems to be everyone’s favorite line to me,” she giggled. “Don’t thank me quite yet, though. We still have a long way to go with those two.”


	4. Chapter 4

Ever since Anna’s return Castiel had been tolerable. Dean wouldn’t touch the word ‘nice’ with a ten-foot pole, but tolerable. Chuck no longer had to sneak around to help Dean anymore as Castiel requested it. Already he was catching on to the routine, but tomorrow they were going to start prepping for the weekend’s show. The thought of having to be alone with Castiel for the weekend terrified the hell out of him, but he’d take it in stride like he had the last three weeks. Shit. He had actually almost lasted a month. Shocking.

Castiel and Anna had returned to the house and left Dean with some alone time. Lucifer had gotten progressively better with Dean, but he was ready for the next step. Leading the gelding into the round pen he locked the gate and took off the halter. As soon as he was free from the restraint Lucifer bolted into a gallop around the pen. Tossing the halter towards the middle of the pen Dean picked up the long lunge whip and followed Lucifer with his eyes.

As soon as Lucifer began to slow he cracked the whip causing the gray to lower his head and buck several times before increasing his speed once more. Dean allowed Lucifer to continue around like that for another minute before he stepped directly into the horse’s path causing him to turn on his haunches and turn the other way. “Good boy,” he muttered as he stepped back off the railing and towards the center. Each time Lucifer slowed he cracked the whip again. He was waiting for the right signal.

They continued on like that for fifteen minutes before Lucifer gave the indicator Dean was waiting for. With a lowered head Lucifer cocked his inner ear towards the man. Instantly Dean dropped the whip and allowed his posture to relax. “Whoa, boy. Whoa.” It took a while for Lucifer to slow to a trot and eventually all the way down to a halt. Lucifer turned towards Dean and stood there. Licking his lips Dean made eye contact with the horse before turning his back. Castiel was leaning against the railing. Dean’s eyes caught his as he crouched down and waited.

“What are you doing?” Castiel’s question wasn’t accusing, but rather curious. 

“It’s called join-up,” Dean responded. “You’ve never heard of it?”

“In passing,” Castiel responded, “But I’ve never seen it done. I always figured it was some silly Western tradition. What purpose does it serve?”

“It’s about trust, Cas, and it’s not just some silly ‘Western’ thing. It’s horsemanship. The first part of me moving him away asserts me as the lead of the herd. You continue to push them out until they give you the signal they are ready to listen rather than fight with you. I’ve earned his respect as head of heard at this point, but not his trust. Horses don’t approach the lead horse until they trust them. So now I wait.”

“How long will it take?” Castiel wondered aloud. Lucifer had not moved an inch closer to Dean since he stopped. In fact, he was now impatiently pawing at the ground.

Dean shrugged, “Could be another five minutes, maybe an hour. Gotta be patient. Right now he’s acting like a spoiled brat and is demanding I come to him. I’m not going to.” Castiel hummed in understanding and they waited. They were both silent, but Dean had to admit it wasn’t awkward. As he looked down to check his watch – twenty minutes – he felt a hot breath against his neck. Reaching up behind him he patted Lucifer’s cheek. Dean moved to stand and regretted ever having knelt down when his knees snap, crackled, and popped like Rice Krispies. Squaring his shoulders to Lucifer he gave him another rub between the eyes before starting to walk forward.

Lucifer followed him as he moved. “As soon as they come to you, make a figure-eight. The lead mare will make this movement when accepting new horses into the herd.” Dean completed the pattern with Lucifer at his side and came to a halt. When he moved towards the gelding he moved backwards. 

Castiel’s mouth was open in awe. “I’ve never seen someone command so much respect from Lucifer before. I don’t understand.”

Dean slipped the halter back onto Lucifer’s head and led him towards the railing where Castiel was. “It’s not just about riding, Cas. There’s so much more to it than that. 

Castiel’s face indicated that the man was having a deep monologue in his head regarding the situation before with hesitancy he asked, “Would you teach me?”

Dean’s eyes widened and he blinked slowly thinking he hadn’t heard right, but Castiel’s face said it all. With a drop in his shoulders and a small smile he responded in the softest tone he had ever used with the rider, “Sure thing.” This was progress. “Grab Inias while I turn Lucy back out.” Castiel nodded and headed for the barn. When Dean returned from turning Lucifer out Castiel was waiting in the center of the round pen with Inias.

“Ok,” Dean began as he climbed the railing and hopped over it. “First step is to assert yourself as the head of the herd. Take off his halter and push him out to the rail.” 

Castiel didn’t move. “I don’t want to be mean.”

Dean rolled his eyes, “Oh, now you’re so concerned about hurting someone’s feelings. You aren’t being mean, Cas, you’re being assertive.”

Castiel straightened his posture and took off the halter. With a crack of the whip to the side Inias took off at a nice trot. 

“Make him canter,” Dean said. Castiel clucked his tongue and Inias moved right into a canter. “Good. Don’t let him slow down.” Dean allowed Inias to go around a few more times before moving on, “Ok. Change his direction.” Inias’s change was much smoother than Lucifer’s. He turned on his haunches long before Castiel reached him whereas Lucifer waited until the last second before moving away from Dean. Inias was already lowering his head and turning his nose towards the center of the arena. It was very clear that the horse did not like being pushed away from his owner. 

“Let him stop on his own.” Dean hopped back over the railing so that it was just Castiel in the round pen. Inias came to a stop almost immediately upon his exit. “Now turn your back and wait.”

It was no sooner that Castiel had turned his back that Inias had placed his head against the dip and shoved Castiel forward enough that he fell. Dean couldn’t contain his laugh. Castiel’s cheeks and ears were bright red when he got back to his feet and faced Inias. The horse was giving him a look that spoke loud and clear Don’t ever push me away again!

“Give him a pat and do the figure-eight pattern,” Dean spoke. Inias followed the movements Castiel made without hesitation. “He already trusts you; you just need to trust him.”

Castiel curled his arms around Inias’s head and touched their foreheads together. They remained like that long enough to make Dean feel like he should probably leave, but Castiel’s voice halted him mid-turn. “Falling.” Dean gave a confused glance. “I’m afraid of falling,” Castiel hugged Inias tighter.

“No one wants to fall, but it’s part of riding,” Dean spoke as he leaned back up against the rail. “I’ve fallen off tons of times, and even broke a few bones in the process, but you can’t let that control you.”

“Anna had an accident a few years ago at the Virginia Trials,” Castiel began. “She used to event like me, but one day out on the cross-country course her horse just didn’t see the jump until last minute. He got caught in the brush and flipped. Anna ended up underneath him and he landed on top of her. She got lucky and he only broke a leg and a foot, but it was the single-most terrifying experience of my life.” Castiel closed his eyes to blink back the memories. “She hasn’t jumped ever since, and for months after the accident I was too terrified to do anything but Dressage. I have gotten better, but with the added pressure from Michael to win everything I-,” He swallowed and buried his face into Inias.

Dean stared at the sand of the round-pen and licked his lips. “My family owned this ranch out in Kansas. We trained cutting horses. My dad had trained and bred a lot of really successful horses in the circuit. We had this rival though, Azazel, and when my dad’s horse beat him at the championship he lost it. In the middle of the night he broke into our ranch and set the barn on fire. My mom tried to get the horses out, but the roof collapsed…it killed all our horses but two who were like Lucifer and didn’t like to be stalled. We lost everything.” Dean sucked in a shuddered breath, “My dad turned to heavy drinking and it left my brother and I to the horses. Sam didn’t want to do it. He had these big dreams of becoming a lawyer, so everything was left to me. It was too much for me to handle, and then one day I walked in to see my dad hanging from the ceiling by a pair of reins.”

“Dean, I’m so-,”

“Stop,” Dean put up a hand. “You said the first day we met that you weren’t here to take in charity cases, so don’t pity me. My point is that I could have gone on and done anything after we sold the farm, but here I am still struggling like an idiot because working with horses is what I want to do. I’m doing the best I can to put my brother through school while trying to somehow love my job. Up until now I couldn’t really see it, but looking at you and Inias now I know that you do love your horses. You’ve gotta push through your fears because it’s what you love.”

“How am I supposed to get past it? Maybe I’m not strong enough.” Inias seemed to beat Dean to the punch in telling him he was wrong with a snort and another head butt to the chest. 

Dean put his head in his hands against the railing in thought. “Ok. I mean, you’ve got two days until your next show. I can’t magically cure it. It’s not about talent. From what I hear you’re pretty damn good in that category.”

Castiel picked up the halter and leadrope and frowned as he put it back on Inias, “Yes, so I’m told. However, that has done little for me over the course of the past year.”

“How many times I gotta tell you it’s not about that, Cas? Come on man, do you trust me?” Castiel’s eyes bore into him like daggers. “Yeah, sorry, bad question. Do you trust Inias?”

Castiel huffed, “I thought we’d finally reached an understanding of the fact that I have trust issues with everyone and everything.”

Dean rolled his eyes, “Then just…have faith. Have faith that Inias is going to get you over the jumps safely. Sometimes you gotta just let go.”

Have faith. Anna’s voice sung the words in his head. It seemed to be the theme of the day for him. Castiel let an exhausted sigh fall from his lips. “You make it sound so easy, Dean.”

Dean gave an amused snort, “It’s not. But if it were easy, everyone would have a hall decorated with blue ribbons. You want me to put Inias up for you?”

“No!” Castiel snapped with a tightened grip on the lead rope. Quickly his face softened in apology, “No…I will do it, thank you.”

“Alright, alright,” Dean threw his hands up in easy surrender. “Think I’ll go make some grub, then. See you in the morning.”

“Of course,” Castiel responded as he opened the gate to the round pen and followed Dean back to the barn before they parted ways. 

Dean headed up to the loft with a bounce in his step that made him feel lighter than he had in a very long time. Chuck was lounging on his bed watching a football game when he walked in and gave him a quizzical look. Dean returned it as he began pulling out food of the fridge, “What?”

“You’re smiling. Why are you smiling?”

“I think,” Dean paused as he threw the kitchen towel over his shoulder and put his hands on the counter, “I think Cas and I kind of had a moment.”

Chuck’s eyebrows shot up. “You’re joking.”

“Nah, man,” Dean made a racket as he dug through the pots and pans for the right ones, “I mean it. I think he got kind of jealous with the way I was handling Lucifer. He asked me to show him how to do join up with Inias. You ok with stir fry?”

“Uh, yeah, sure,” Chuck responded with his brow knit together still in confusion. “It’s not that I’m not happy he’s being nicer, I just don’t get it.”

Dean grabbed a beer out of the fridge and kicked the door shut with the back of his foot. “Me either, man, but I’ve learned to never look a gift horse in the mouth.”

“Touché,” Chuck hummed as he turned the attention back to the TV just in time to see his team scored on. “Man…”

/*/

Anna was setting the table already by the time Castiel had taken off his boots and made his way to the kitchen. The man frowned at the lack of his sister’s husband, “Is Richard working late?”

“He just called, should be home soon,” Anna smiled sweetly. 

Castiel considered himself blessed that his sister loved to cook so much, because he certainly could not. Pulling out a chair he let himself sink into the cushion with a heavy sigh. “Am I wrong, Anna?”

“You’re wrong in a lot of things, baby brother,” Anna responded firmly as she put a full glass of water in front of him, “But what exactly are we talking about?”

“Everything…I saw Dean working with Lucifer when I went back down to pick up the folder I had left in the office. He seemed to have complete control over him. I’d never seen it before.”

“Hm,” Anna took off her apron and hung it up by the stove, “Are you jealous of him? Or shocked that maybe he has a lot more talent than you give him credit for?”

Castiel’s blue eyes narrowed in thought before responding, “Both. I…I have spent months with Lucifer and done nothing but struggle. I don’t understand how he comes in and after only a handful of weeks he has progressed as such.”

Anna gave a sigh and took the seat next to her brother before taking his hand in hers. “So give him an honest chance. Let him teach you what he knows, and you teach him. Remember what our first trainer said? That even the best of the best still have something to learn.”

“It’s just-,” Castiel let out an annoyed huff, “His methods are so unconventional. He makes things up as he goes.”

Anna laughed, “Sometimes it’s good to exhibit a little bit of free-will Castiel. You should try it once-in-a-while. But you know,” she took a sip of her wine, “Maybe you should think about letting Chuck go with you and Dean this weekend. It’s not fair to have Dean be thrown to the wolves his first show. Stop trying to set people up to fail.”

Castiel’s jaw tightened. “I’m not-,” he was silenced by Anna’s harsh glare. “We only have one room with two beds.”

“You shell out enough money for hotels that surely they have a pull out bed or a roll away that you can rent. That is not a valid excuse. Castiel, honestly-,”

“Alright,” Castiel interjected. “Chuck can come. But warn him that I better not see him taking over. He is merely there for supervision purposes. I cannot allow Dean to continue to work here if he cannot handle the stress and high-level work of a show.” He cast his sister a knowing look, “I don’t want him going behind my back and braiding horses for him.”

Anna simply smiled.

/*/

“Please tell me you know how to drive a trailer?” Chuck asked with the whimper quite obvious in his voice.

“Relax,” Dean spoke as he opened the back end of the trailer, “I can drive trailers in my sleep, dude.”

There was a huge sigh of relief. “Good. Because Castiel is a terrible driver, not to mention he just simply won’t do it. Ok, so, I printed out the check lists that I use for shows. Since you are taking two horses I’ve tailored all the numbers to that. If you follow this checklist exactly there shouldn’t be any problem at all.”

Dean took the three page list that Chuck had given him and brought it up to his face. The sun was only just now breaching over the horizon and the single light at the door of the barn didn’t offer much help. “Jesus Christ look at all this.”

“Yeah, I know,” Chuck said as he moved around the trailer to open up the tack room. “Let’s start with what Castiel won’t be using today.”

Dean looked up from his paper to see said individual walking towards them from the barn. He licked his lips and folded the papers in his hands. “Mornin’ Cas.”

Castiel gave a polite nod, “Dean. There are some things I wanted to go over with you and Chuck if you have a brief moment.”

Well, he didn’t seem mad, so hopefully this wasn’t about something Dean had done wrong. “Sure, what’s up?”

Castiel turned his attention towards Chuck, “I’d like you to accompany us this weekend. After much thought I have decided that it would be unfair to ask Dean to do this by himself the first time.”

Chuck opened his mouth to speak, but no words seemed to be able to form. Dean spoke instead, “Thanks, Cas. I really appreciate that. Sorry I wasn’t expecting you so early. Do you want me to go ahead and start tacking someone up for you?”

“No,” Castiel’s reply was harsh. “I…,” he softened, “I would prefer to tack Inias. However, please have Balthazar prepared for a light hack when I return.”

Dean sucked in a breath and gave a small smile. “Yeah.”

Castiel quickly walked away before he could change his mind, and Dean turned to see Chuck’s face full of completely shock. The Winchester shook his head and gave the man a slap on the back as he walked by. “Told you we had a ‘come-to-Jesus’ moment.”

“Anna probably made him take me,” Chuck finally blurted out. 

Dean shrugged, “So? The point is he listened. Gift horse. Mouth.” Dean walked in to the tack room and began gathering up first-aid items for the list.

Chuck was about to argue, but he just shook his head and grabbed a pen from the holder on the desk. He should really be way more thankful about this than he was, but Castiel’s track record just made him so hesitant about his recent attitude. “Ok, antibacterial cream?”

“Check.”

“Betadine?”

“Check.”

“Gauze Pads?”

“Check…”


	5. Chapter 5

When the alarm clock went off at 4 am, Dean felt a surge of violence and rage rise up within him. Jesus Christ, he couldn’t remember the last time he had to get up this early. Granted, that’s what happens when you are out of work. With an annoyed groan he slammed a hand down on the clock and the buzzing stopped. Fumbling his hand through the darkness he finally found the lamp and turned it on, the yellow light shining like a sun in the dark room. 

“I changed my mind,” Chuck groaned, voice laced with sleep, “I don’t want to help you anymore.”

Throwing back the covers Dean swung his legs over the side of the mattress and stretched. “Come on, I’ll make breakfast.”

“Mmm bacon and pancakes?” Chuck questioned hopefully into his pillow. 

“Bacon in pancakes,” Dean grinned lazily.

“Yay,” Chuck tried to be enthusiastic in his response, but it only ended up muffled and half-hearted.

After finishing their breakfast and gathering their weekend bags they headed down to the barn where Bobby was finishing up the morning feed. The Virginia air was cool, almost enough to warrant a light jacket. It was one thing Dean wasn’t really looking forward to about being on the east coast – winter. 

“Well, this is it,” Bobby said as he tossed in the last flakes of hay to Uriel’s stall. “You make it through this weekend and you’re in. Don’t screw it up.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence old man,” Dean teased.

“Well, you made it this far,” Bobby shrugged. “If you two idjits have put up with each other this long, there ain’t much I see ruining it. I already filled the hay bags and put them in the trailer for ya as well as put an entire weekends feed worth in the tack room. Should be all ready to go on that front.”

“Thanks, Bobby.” Dean leaned over Inias’s stall door and was met with a muzzle to his neck. “You ready to kick some serious ass, boy?” Grabbing the bay’s halter he moved Inias toward the crossties and began putting on his shipping wraps. That was thankfully something he had done plenty of times and could do without supervision.

Chuck took care of wrapping Balthazar and unhooked him from the crossties opposite Inias. “Balthazar throws a hissy fit if he doesn’t go in first.”

Dean nodded, “Ok, I’m ready to help you load.” He followed Chuck and Balthazar to the trailer and as soon as the horse stepped up into the trailer he was closing the divider and giving a nod to the other man that he was secure. The gelding wasted no time in taking a huge chunk of hay from the net that hung in front of him. “They all load so nicely?”

Chuck gave a curt laugh, “You honestly think Lucifer loads nicely? Gabriel isn’t a cake-walk, either, although he’s a lot less stubborn about it. Uriel can sometimes be a pain. It depends on his mood.”

“Well, looks like I’ve got something more to do with good old Lucy, then,” Dean grinned. That horse was a complete pain-in-the-ass, but the Winchester found he quite enjoyed the challenge he offered. Inias went in the trailer just as easily as Balthazar had, and Dean quickly found himself locking up the back of the trailer and ensuring the horses were perfectly secure. 

“Are we ready?” Castiel inquired as he walked up in a light fleece with a coffee in hand. Anna was behind him looking like she had just rolled out of bed – which she probably had. 

Dean nodded as he opened the driver’s side door of the truck and fired her up. “We’ve double and triple-checked the list. All we had left was you.”

Anna wrapped her arms around her brother and kissed his cheek, “Keep that head of yours clear and bring home ribbons, you hear? I know you are going to do great.”

“Thank you,” Castiel whispered in contentment as his sister held him. “I wish you could come.”

“I know,” she brushed a finger across his cheek, “but you are in more than capable hands, and I have much work to do with Uriel and Joshua before next weekend. The prize money is good, and we need it.” With a squeeze of his hand she stepped back and wrapped her arms around her torso.

Castiel nodded to Dean and Chuck as he opened the passenger side door. “Well, then, let’s go.”

/*/

It was a four hour drive to Norwood, North Carolina for The Fork Horse Trials. As Dean drove the trailer down the gravel drive-way his mouth dropped. This was nothing like he’d ever seen for a horse-show before. The trees were changing colors around a large crystal-clear pond that sat nestled in front of a barn that looked like a mansion fit for kings. The volunteers at the gate directed him towards rows of large blue tents off in the distance on a perfectly green hill. As they approached Dean realized they weren’t just tents – they were stalls.

“Jesus, they have blow-up stables.”

Castiel looked up from the papers he was reading and gave Dean a curious look, “You have not seen these before?”

Dean shook his head, “At all the shows I went to they set up the portable stalls inside arenas.”

“Hmm,” Castiel flipped the page, “Eventing is not held inside arenas. It requires vast areas for cross-country, and is usually as such secluded away from civilization. Indoor facilities are not a luxury we are privy to.”

“It’s not bad until the weather goes to crap,” Chuck sighed, “Do you know what it’s like when it rains? The stalls flood and it’s a complete nightmare.”

“They don’t cancel the shows if it gets that bad?” A lady outside pointed to the right and Dean followed her instruction.

“Back in March I rode in a trial where it was raining so hard I could not see the jumps until I was about three strides out,” Castiel mentioned. 

Dean’s mouth dropped, “Dude, seriously? That’s freaking dangerous and stupid.”

“Yes,” Castiel said simply. “I won.”

Dean snorted. “So that makes it ok, huh?”

“This is our tent,” Castiel spoke, changing the subject. “We’ll unload and then you can park the trailer while I check-in.”

Chuck hopped out first and motioned for Dean to follow him. “We need to set-up the stalls before we take them off the trailer.” A sign with Golden Gate Farms was taped to three consecutive stalls. “Two for the horses and one to put all the tack,” he explained. “Go ahead and dump the shavings and start spreading it out. I’ll start bringing the buckets from the trailer.”

Dean nodded and opened up the first stall where a bag of shavings was sitting. Ripping open the plastic he let the shavings fall onto the green grass and began spreading them out with his foot until Chuck returned with the rake. 

“Hose is at that end of the barn,” Chuck pointed after putting down the buckets outside of the stall. “Two buckets of water and the third is for feed.”

Dean gave a chin tilt in acknowledgement before gaping in surprise to see Castiel was carrying his own tack into the empty stall. He opened his mouth to comment on the issue, but thought better of it. Once he and Chuck had finished the stalls they unloaded Inias and Balthazar making sure there was plenty of hay to keep them happy and busy for the moment. 

“I will return shortly,” Castiel spoke as he grabbed the binder with the medical papers and walked off.

Dean let out a heavy sigh, “This is kind of overwhelming, dude. I’ve done big shows, but this is just….”

“Different?” Chuck offered. “You’ll get used to it. The Fork is a nice facility with a lot of nice people. As first shows go, this is the best place you could be. It should be a good weekend for you. Come on, let’s go drop off the trailer and park the truck.”

By the time they had returned Castiel was sitting in the chair outside of Inias’s stall going through the packets he had received at check-in. “I will ride them both around the facility to get them used to the grounds today. My ride times for dressage are early tomorrow, so I’d suggest braiding tonight. Chuck, why don’t you show Dean around and make sure he is familiar with what exactly goes on.” His eyes grew harsh, “I don’t want any mishaps once things begin in the morning.”

Dean rolled his eyes, but Chuck gave a swift nod. “Sure, of course. I promise everything will be just fine.” He grabbed hold of Dean’s arm and dragged him away before any further comments could be made. “He always gets a little snappy as the show grows closer, just let it go.”

“I haven’t screwed up yet, why does he have to pull that shit?” Dean huffed. 

“He was that way even with me after I had been working for the farm for years,” Chuck explained. “He gets on edge, and with everything that’s been going on lately it’s made it worse. I should go through the usual routine with you anyway.” He led Dean to the Dressage arena. “The warm-up area is over there. Basically, just stand off to the side and let him do his thing until they tell him he’s on deck. That means he’s next up. When that happens, brush off any dirt and wipe off Castiel’s boots. Make sure everything is as shiny and clean as it can be – except for the bit! Don’t wipe off any spit and slobber!”

Dean gave him a confused look, “Uh, why?”

“It shows acceptance of the bit. Judges want to see that. That’s the show-jumping arena over there,” Chuck pointed not too far in the distance where Dean could clearly see the colorful jumps set up in the arena. “That’ll be on Sunday. Same kind of thing…be around to spruce up the horses right before he goes in the arena. Make sure all the tack looks ok, too. As soon as he gets off the horse you take off the bridle and loosen the girth. Questions?”

“Tons, but does it really matter?” Dean huffed. “I get the idea, I can figure it out.”

Chuck shrugged an ‘ok’ and motioned for him to follow. “I’ll show you where cross-country will start and end. It’s really important to be at the finish line. Usually at the upper levels as soon as the rider gets off and you take the tack off someone is there to dump water buckets when it’s warm to help cool the horse down.”

Dean followed on Chuck’s heel a fairly good distance from the main show grounds. He could tell when they reached the course by the series of jumps splayed out on the grassy field. Some of them were absolutely huge. “Shit. Not all the money in the world could get me to try and jump those things.”

Chuck hummed in agreement, “Yeah. Dressage is much more my thing. Ok, right over there between those flags is the finish line. You’ll want to be waiting there when Castiel comes through. Grab the horse, unbridle and halter, unsaddle, and if it is warm enough outside dump a bucket of water over his back. It’s important to keep them walking afterwards; they practically just ran a marathon.”

“I can cool out a horse, thanks,” Dean muttered with crossed arms. 

“Oh, right,” Chuck rubbed at his face in slight embarrassment before motioning for Dean to follow him back to the main grounds. “So that’s the gist, I guess. Always have a water bottle on hand for him, too.”

“Yeah, yeah, ok, I got it,” Dean waved. “Speck of dirt on either Cas or the horse and I’m a dead man.” With crossed arms he stepped out of the way of an approaching horse and rider and without Chuck’s ok began heading back towards their tent. 

Chuck quickly followed behind, jogging slightly to catch up, and asked, “Is it really a lot different than the shows you used to go to?”

Dean offered up a glare as an immediate answer. “As different as me and Cas, man.” Dean made his way towards their stalls to find Castiel and Inias absent. With a small sigh of relief he grabbed hold of a muck bucket and entered Inias’s stall with it. 

Chuck made a motion to strike up conversation again, but thought better of it and grabbed a bucket to do Balthazar’s stall. He had figured out quickly that when Dean set to work it was most preferably in silence unless he decided otherwise. 

“Social Hour beings in fifteen minutes.”

Dean jumped at the sudden sound of Castiel’s voice. “Jesus Christ, Cas. Don’t sneak up on a guy like that!”

Castiel’s brow furrowed. “Finish what you are doing and make yourselves halfway presentable at least.”

Dean dragged out the muck bucket and brushed off his polo, “What the hell is ‘Social Hour’.”

“Most shows have them,” Chuck began to explain as he put up the equipment and helped Castiel untack Inias, “It’s a dinner and cocktail hour where competitors can socialize and stuff.”

Dean leaned in towards Chuck’s ear so that Castiel wouldn’t hear, “Cas socializes?”

Chuck gave an unsure shrug, “Believe it or not, he’s actually on good terms with a lot of the competitors. It’s just grooms he has trouble getting along with.”

“Naturally,” Dean rolled his eyes. “Well as long as there is beer.”

It was an impressive event to say the least in Dean’s opinion. There was a plethora of alcohol to choose from and the enchiladas smelled divine. His hands were full of three separate plates loaded to the rim of food by the time he made it to the table.

Castiel glared disapprovingly. “You look like a barbarian with all that food.”

Dean took his fork and stabbed it into the first enchilada with emphasis. “Well, you tend to think I am one most of the time so I might as well live up to the name.”

“Castiel!” A redhead with a bright smile came bounding up to their table. “I was so happy to see that you had entered this event!”

“Charlie, it’s good to see you,” Castiel offered a rare smile.

“Chuck!” Charlie gave the groom a tight squeeze. Her beautiful green eyes landed on Dean. “Oh, who is this?”

Dean wiped his hands on his jeans, earning another glare from Castiel, and extended his hand, “Dean Winchester. I’m Cas’s new groom.”

“Charlie Bradbury,” the woman smiled. “Well, he’s definitely more handsome than the last few you’ve had,” she gave a wink in Castiel’s direction. “I hope he doesn’t scare you too bad, Dean. It would be nice to see the same person at the next show.”

Castiel huffed critically, “You say that like it was always my fault.”

“Uh, that’s because it usually is, duh. Well, anyways, it was great to meet you Dean, but Gilda is waiting for me. Peace, bitches!”

“Gilda her horse?” Dean asked as he took a swig of his beer.

“No, her girlfriend,” Castiel responded.

It was a good thing Dean had already swallowed. “Oh.” Mental images played in his head and he smiled, “Huh.”

“Well, well, well, look what the cat dragged in to town,” a heavily accented voice purred. A man dressed in all black and a smug look made himself at home at the table next to Castiel. “I honestly didn’t expect to see your face after the last show seeing as it was too busy being buried in the grass.”

Castiel’s jaw clenched. “What do you want Crowley?”

“Just curious if you plan on staying on top of your horse this time rather than under it. It’s bloody annoying when they have to delay the cross country course because you’ve taken another topple.”

Dean could feel his blood boiling hotter each time this asshole opened his mouth. “Who the fuck are you?”

Crowley’s eyebrow shot up. “The squirrel has a mouth on him. And who is this, your newest pet?”

“I’m his new groom, and the name’s Dean Winchester asshole,” Dean scowled.

“Dean,” Castiel warned.

“Winchester? As in the same Winchester family who works with cutting horses?” Crowley burst into laughter. “My, my, Castiel! To think you’ve fallen so far as to hire a cowboy.”

Dean was out of his seat in seconds, but Castiel was there to step between him and the other man. “That’s enough, Dean. He’s not worth it.”

Crowley gave another chuckle as he stood. “You do never fail to disappoint the masses, Castiel. You’ll be lucky to ever see the inside of a winner’s circle again.”

“Yeah, well at least he isn’t an ugly son of a bitch who has to bring people down to make him feel better about himself. Cas is a far better person than you could ever be,” Dean scowled.

“Enough, Dean,” Castiel pleaded.

There was a grin plastered all over his face. “How adorable. The squirrel looks after his master. He’s a keeper, Castiel. Well, I best be off. I’ll wave to you from the podium.”

“Why do you let him talk to you that way?” Dean hissed at Castiel.

“I told you to drop it!” Castiel growled back. “Crowley is one of the most influential people in the circuit and can have everyone turn on me in an instant! Do you even know what you’ve just done?”

Chuck groaned helplessly as he grabbed another beer and walked towards Charlie’s groom, Becky, to strike up conversation away from the impending fight.

Castiel began to storm off, but Dean followed through the crowd. “What, like he probably wasn’t bad mouthing you before to everyone? How did I change that?”

Castiel spun around, “Because now everyone will know what you are!”

Dean’s entire body seemed to fall. “And what am I, Cas? Huh? Is that what it’s all about? You don’t want people to know I used to rodeo? You’re fucking ashamed of me, is that it?!”

Castiel’s heart sank apologetically, “Wait, Dean, I -,”

“Forget it!” Dean brushed shoulders hard against the rider as he stormed back towards the tent.

“Dean, wait!” Castiel called back after him.

Dean spun around and glared daggers. “I don’t even know why you bothered to hire me in the first place, Cas! You’ve had it out for me since day fucking one! Well, fine! You got your wish. As soon as we get back from the show, I’m done.” He was absolutely raging when he made it back to the tent. Grabbing the bars of Inias’s stall he took deep breaths and squeezed tightly to control himself. Fuck, fuck, fuck. He should have never taken the job, but Sammy…fucking Sammy. The next bill from Stanford had already come in and now he wouldn’t be able to pay it. 

With a shuddered sigh he opened the latch to Inias’s stall and entered it. The gelding gave a soft nicker and placed his muzzle in Dean’s hands. “I’m sorry, boy. I tried to make it work, I really did.” He leaned up against the side of the stall and let the bay rest his head up against him in a soothing motion. 

Dean had no idea how much time had passed, but he was dreadfully in danger of falling asleep before Inias jerked his head up causing the man to lose balance. With a hand braced against the side of the stall he pushed himself back up and looked where Inias’s attention was. It was Castiel. With a snort Dean turned his head away and crossed his arms. “Oh, sorry, wouldn’t want to be turning your horse into a rodeo clown or anything.”

“Dean, I’m-,” Castiel’s voice croaked and he looked away.

Dean slowly let his gaze turn to the other man. The more he looked the more he realized Castiel had been crying. 

With a trembling breath Castiel tried again, “I didn’t mean it. I just have a lot of pressure on me from Michael.”

Dean snorted. “You really need to work on how to say you’re sorry, man.”

Castiel’s laugh came out sounding more like a sob. “Please, just…reconsider.”

Sucking in a heavy breath through his nose Dean opened the stall door so that there were no bars between them. “Give me one good reason I should.” Castiel swallowed hard and lowered his eyes. Dean rolled his eyes, “Yeah, that’s what I-,”

Dean’s words were cut off by chapped lips against his and a day old stubble rubbing against his cheeks. He tensed at the initial shock of the action, but found himself relaxing in to it just as Castiel pulled away, cheeks flushed red with embarrassment. “Jesus fuck, Cas,” Dean breathed. “You have the worst fucking way of showing people you are interested.”

Castiel opened his mouth to spout what Dean was sure was going to be an apology, but he gave the rider no time as he slammed the shorter man up against the stall door and smashed his lips against his. Tangling his fingers tightly into his dark locks he shoved a knee between his crotch causing his body to slide up the bars. 

“Why?” Dean breathed in-between kisses as he tightened his grip on the other man’s hair. 

“Because you-,” he sucked on Dean’s bottom lip hard, “are the first person-,” he nibbled on the upper lip, “to stand up for me.” He drove his tongue in deep into Dean’s mouth and tasted the other man before pulling back and staring at him with lust filled eyes. “You are the first person to treat me like a human being. Despite the way I treated you, you’ve done nothing but try to help me.”

They stood there staring at each other and panting heavily for a few moments before Castiel spoke again. “I have the same question of you. Why?”

Dean gave a sly grin, “Because hate sex is the best sex.” He dove in for another kiss and ground his hips up against Castiel’s bringing a gasp from the man’s lips.

“Someone could see us!” Castiel panted.

“Good. Let them see how human you really are,” Dean growled as his lips latched on to Castiel’s neck and his hands reached towards the man’s riding jodhpurs to free his hardening dick. It took longer than he would have liked to spring them both free, but he finally had Castiel’s legs wrapped around his waist and both their dicks in his hand slick with pre-come. 

“Dean, Dean, Dean,” Castiel chanted as he thrust his hips up into Dean’s hand. “I’m gonna – oh!” With a sharp gasp Castiel was shooting white over their cocks and Dean’s hand. 

Dean’s pace quickened and he was soon following Castiel with an animalistic grunt. “Shit, Cas,” Dean breathed as the man lowered himself off. Making his way into the tack stall Dean quickly found a rag and cleaned both himself and Castiel off before stuffing themselves back in and trying their best not to look guilty, but Castiel looked so fucked out that would be practically impossible. 

“We should find Chuck and head to the hotel for the night,” Castiel finally spoke.

“Yeah,” Dean nodded. 

Castiel licked his lips and locked eyes with Dean. “I hope my one reason was enough to convince you.”

“I dunno,” Dean breathed before smirking, “You might have to do some more convincing later.”

For the first time in a long while, Castiel felt himself truly smile.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Author's Note:** I finally republished my LiveJournal account! So I will now be posting chapters to my account and posting snippets/drabbles and such to my journal so definitely come friend me! This chapter is a little shorter than normal, but I wanted to keep my updates frequent. I got a LOT of flack for having the 'sudden' action between Dean/Cas....I had my reasons for it, and hopefully it'll start becoming a little clearer. I've had this idea in my head since the beginning and we're finally here for it to surface. But if flamers feel the need to flame, who am I to stop them?
> 
> THANK YOUUUUU so much to those that have supported me so far! Please come join me for special sneak peaks and such at my livejournal: kashoku-yoshiko or my tumblr: kashoku

_“I just don’t understand it. His pediatricians said it was a normal phase that all children went through, but I feel like it’s just gotten worse, Dr. Barnes.”_

_“Well, in many cases they were right to assume he would grow out of it, Mrs. Novak, but there are rare cases where it develops into something more. I’d have to sit down with Castiel and talk to him myself, but I’d bet my degree that he’s developed Separation Anxiety Syndrome,” Dr. Pamela Barnes explained coolly._

_Mrs. Novak clutched at her heart and looked at the doctor with pleading eyes, “What can we do?”_

_“Well, the good news is that even those with severe SAD grow out of it in their teens, but we will have to deal with it in the meantime. The best thing would be to find something to occupy him while you and his father are gone; something to keep his mind engaged. I hear equine therapy does wonders for anxiety…..”_

_“….I don’t understand!” Anna shouted angrily at Dr. Barnes. “You told my mother this would go away! He’s 18 and it’s only getting worse!”_

_“Miss Novak, please,” Dr. Barnes sighed. “There are always extreme circumstances, and unfortunately your mother’s passing has shoved Castiel further into his anxiety. He’s developed Adult Separation Anxiety Syndrome and I’m very sorry to say that once it’s reached that level there is no full recovery from it. It’ll always be there.”_

_“There has to be something we can do! I can’t go anywhere without him for fear he’ll hurt himself emotionally or physically in my absence. The only thing he has that keeps him calm is the horses, and my brother is already threatening to take them away.”_

_Dr. Barnes shifted her weight with annoyance. “There are some anti-anxiety medications we can try. Let’s set up some sessions as well. It’s not possible to get rid of ASAD completely, but we can definitely contain it with some work. We can work on desensitizing him when he has to be separated from you or the horses.”_

_Anna ran her fingers over her temple and clenched her jaw before crossing her arms in front of her chest. “What are the long-term problems he faces with this....?”_

_“….Castiel, do you understand what is going on with you?”_

_“Yes,” Castiel responded as he kept his eyes glued to the carpet beneath Dr. Barnes’s feet._

_“How did it make you feel when you read that pamphlet I gave you on ASAD?”_

_“Upset.”_

_“Why is that?”_

_“I exhibit most of the symptoms.”_

_“Why don’t you tell me which symptoms you feel you have?”_

_With a deep breath Castiel began listing them, “I fall in to all the categories that people with ASAD normally are in. I have no higher education, I have never been in a relationship, and for all intense and purposes I am unemployed. My peers at riding school would also argue I exhibit the likely mood disorders that come with ASAD as well.”_

_“What do you mean?”_

_“It said in the pamphlet that people with ASAD often develop antisocial tendencies. Well…I’m rather antisocial….”_

_“….Elaine quit today,” Castiel spoke somberly as he stared out the window._

_“I thought you told me Elaine wasn’t very good at her job?” Dr. Barnes questioned._

_“She wasn’t.”_

_“Then why are you so upset she left?”_

_“Because I’m alone again…”_

Castiel woke with a start at the sound of his alarm blaring on the nightstand of the hotel room. There was a sudden flash of light that had him hissing in pain as his eyes struggled to adjust. Dean was already up and stretching from his position on the floor. He had refused to share a bed and after much insistence took his place below the beds. 

“Rise and shine!” Dean grinned.

“You’re far too cheery in the morning, you know that?” Chuck groaned.

Castiel let himself sink back into the bed as his dreams raced through his brain. He could hear Dr. Barnes’s voice in his head warning him to not get attached, but the rider knew that was far from late. Dean infuriated him most of the time, but he was also the first groom he had ever had other than Chuck that was patient and unrelenting. Curling himself into a slight ball he regretted ever having kissed Dean the night before. It would make it that much harder when the inevitable happened and Dean left. 

“Hey,” Dean rocked Castiel’s shoulders underneath the covers, “Come on, man. You’re the last person who gets to be lazy. It’s time for you to go win blue ribbons.”

“I’m up,” Castiel groaned in a deeper than normal tone. Throwing off the covers he made straight for the bathroom making sure he locked the door behind him. Rummaging through his toiletry bag he pulled out the orange bottle of pills and opened the lid. 

/*/

Dean was an idiot. A Grade-A idiot. It was hardly unusual for Dean to have sex with people he fucking despised, but this – THIS – was off the deep end. And to think he had foreshadowed further occurrences to Castiel about it. It was the most reckless thing he had probably ever done under employment.

But that wasn’t even the thing that bothered him the most. It was the fact that Castiel was so sincere. To be honest, Dean hadn’t taken much of that in during the time because – hello – frottage. It wasn’t much of a secret that the Winchester loved to think with his dick and that was pretty much what had happened. And shit…he had teased at another incidence. Was Castiel just in on the hate-sex or was there actually something there and the man just had the absolute worst way of showing it?

With a heavy sigh Dean rubbed at his face and decided he’s confront Castiel about it later when the show wasn’t on his mind. Balthazar’s dressage test was first and he had to focus on getting him ready to ride. Braids were perfect and tack was shining by the time Castiel took the reins from Dean and mounted. 

“Make sure to listen for my name being called to be on-deck. I will do my best to keep track of time, but I may be preoccupied,” Castiel spoke as he settled himself in the saddle.

Dean nodded, “Ok.” His notice wasn’t needed, though, as Castiel arrived precisely on time to ride his test. 

There was very little that Dean actually understood about Dressage, but it was very obvious to even him the difference between the way Balthazar and Inias moved. Both horses rode the same test, but they were _entirely_ different tests. Balthazar went through the motions and tried to fight it whereas Inias simply floated across the ground.

When the scores were announced, though, Dean was a bit confused. Balthazar had ridden a 38.5, but Inias had ridden a 23.4. “I could have sworn Inias had the better ride,” he commented as Castiel dismounted and handed Dean the reigns.

Castiel gave a perturbed glance in Dean’s direction. “He did. I would have thought you would have at least figured out by now that the lowest score wins.”

Dean could feel his cheeks flush red. “I knew that…You and Inias looked great.” It was a poor attempt to divert the conversation, but Dean tried none-the-less.

Castiel took a minute, but eventually responded, “Thank you.”

Dean waited to see if Castiel would say anything else, but he remained silent. His effort was proving futile. “So…is that it for the day?”

“Yes,” Castiel responded. “Make sure to wrap them both and put electrolytes in their waters. I need everything they have for tomorrow. We can feed around three and call it an early day. I would like to watch the other competitors in the mean time.”

“Would you mind if I tagged along after I get Inias and Balthy situated?”

Castiel’s brow furrowed skeptically for a moment before hesitantly answering, “I…suppose it would be alright.”

It was a very awkward silence for Dean sitting in the stands next to Castiel as they watched the other riders. Every once-in-a-while Dean would glance over and see the pure concentration on his boss’s face. With a flick of his tongue over his lips he leaned in and asked, “So mind going in to a bit of detail as to what’s going on down there?”

Castiel’s eyes narrowed and he sat there in contemplation long enough Dean figured the answer was ‘no’. The rider surprised him though as he began describing the movements taking place, “From B to M the horse and rider must conduct a shoulder-in movement. You can’t simply turn your horse’s head to the inside to force his shoulders over. His whole body must move at an angle.”

“So what’s the judge looking for when he scores it?”

“There’s a column in the scoring that tells you what the judge was looking for precisely on each movement. With this he’s looking for a quality moving trot, the angle, and a correct bend. You should always be able to see just the corner of your horse’s eye.” Castiel paused as the rider began his next movement. “An extended trot. They want to seem as if they are gliding across the ground. The judge wants to see clear extension.”

“He doesn’t seem like he’s covering much ground,” Dean murmured as he watched. 

Castiel hummed in agreement. “The horse has no impulsion. He’ll receive a 6 perhaps…”

Dean shifted his weight and sat up straighter. “I’ve seen a lot of horses that don’t seem to be that great at Dressage.”

“Yes,” Castiel agreed, “But then that is the thing about Eventing, is it not? A horse that excels in all three is a rare thing indeed. To succeed at Dressage you must have suppleness, smoothness, and complete obedience. To reach the finish line of cross-country you must have speed, endurance, and most of all courage. Show Jumping tests stamina and recovery. All these horses are good at every event, but only the winner is great.”

Dean’s eyes watched the changes in Castiel’s expression as he continued to watch. They were small, but the Winchester knew that despite it all the rider did have more than one emotion. There was a hidden passion beneath it all. Licking his lips he contemplated bringing up the previous night but decided to push it to the side for later. There was no need to cause his boss to lose his concentration.

After all the rides had concluded Balthazar sat comfortably in 8th place while Inias sat above them all in 1st. Dean praised the rider, but Castiel only seemed more worried about it.

“I don’t like being in first after Dressage,” Castiel stated as they began making their way to the truck to head back to the hotel for the night.

“Why? It’s awesome. You even won a ribbon for highest score…er lowest I guess,” Dean said as he swung his bag into the backseat next to Chuck.

“He feels like it’s too much pressure,” Chuck answered. 

“Oh, so go for 1st, get 2nd and you’re a failure. Go for 10th and get 9th and you’re an overachiever. Makes sense,” Dean rolled his eyes as he hopped into the driver’s seat. But truthfully…Dean understood the notion quite well. He remembered plenty of times that he had been in a good position at cutting competitions and suddenly screwed everything up because of his nerves. 

“Just once I’d like to win the entire weekend on Inias,” Castiel sighed over the roaring start of the engine. 

“So just don’t look at the score,” Dean shrugged.

Castiel’s brow knitted itself together. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, stop looking at your Dressage score. Stop looking at all the scores. If you need to check time changes or whatever I can do it. Stay away from the score sheets. That way there’s no pressure if you don’t know where you stand.” Dean looked over towards the passenger seat and locked eyes with Castiel.

It wasn’t until a cough from Chuck that the two turned back to the road and fell back into an easy silence. 

 

Cas sucked in a deep breath through his nose and let his forehead rest against the cool glass of the truck as they drove in silence….

_“…He’s infuriating.”_

_“If he upsets you so much, why did you hire him Castiel?” Dr. Barnes asked as she tapped her pen against the paper._

_Castiel rolled his shoulders back and clenched his jaw. “He was the only one who had applied…I was so desperate…”_

_“To fill the position or to have someone to be around?”_

_“…Both, I suppose.”_

_Dr. Barnes scribbled something on the paper before offering up a smile and asking, “So what is it about Dean that’s so infuriating?”_

_“He’s…different. Unconventional. Stubborn.”_

_Dr. Barnes laughed, “So he’s not like you? He doesn’t always listen to what you say, am I right?”_

_“Dean always has to have an opinion and make it known,” Castiel huffed._

_“So do you,” she pointed out with amusement. “Do some of his opinions turn out to be good ones…?”_

_Reluctantly Castiel gave a nod, “There have been times they have proved useful.”_

_“Well, that’s a first. Look at you taking someone else’s advice. This is good, Castiel.”_

_“I fail to see the ‘good’ in it. I can’t let go of an attachment to someone who irritates me.”_

_Dr. Barnes gave a sly smile, “If he irritates you so much, why do you pay so much attention to him?”_


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I want to give a huge THANK YOU to everyone who comments and leaves kudos on this work! It really inspires me to write more! Please come visit me on Tumblr @Kashoku to see chapter updates, soon-to-come fanarts, and just to chat! I WANT TO LOVE ON ALL OF YOU!

Dean could tell the shift in mood instantly around the show grounds that morning. Everyone was more excited, but a little on edge. A large crowd of locals had made its way towards the cross-country course. This was the day that everyone seemed to look forward to; horse, rider, and spectator. As with the previous day, Balthazar was slated to run the course prior to Inias.

“That’s to his benefit,” Chuck commented on the issue. “Balthazar is really confident over cross-country courses. I mean, a refusal is really rare for him. Castiel should get his confidence before heading out with Inias, who is really sensitive. If Inias picks up any kind of hesitation he won’t do it.”

Dean finished putting in Balthazar’s studs and made for the tack stall to start gathering the needed tack for Castiel’s cross-county excursion. “So it’s the same course for the two of them, right?”

Chuck nodded, “Yeah, Castiel is riding both of them at this same level. I really hope he has a good ride…I think I’ll be sick of Crowley wins another competition.”

Dean let the saddle fall on top of the gelding’s back and frowned. “That asshole is really good, huh?”

Chuck gave a shrug, “Unfortunately.”

Dean had Balthazar primed and ready to go when Castiel came for him. Even underneath the bulky protective vest that all riders were required to wear, Dean could see the tension in his boss’s muscles. “Hey,” he said softly to get the man’s attention as he held out the reigns, “Go get ‘em.” Castiel merely hummed before walking Balthazar off. Dean worked to get Inias ready to go before grabbing Balthazar’s halter and heading with Chuck to the cross-county course.

Castiel was warming Balthazar up in a small grassy area when Dean and Chuck finally made it up there. One of the show officials called out his number and he was trotting immediately over to the starting box. Instead of waiting inside of it while the official counted down he began trotting around it in a tight circle.

Curious as to why Dean tilted his head towards Chuck and inquired, “Why doesn’t he just sit in the box?”

Chuck laughed, “These horses know what’s about to come. They know they are on the cross-county course and the box means one thing to them: run. If Castiel tried to sit Balthazar in there he’d start rearing and getting real antsy in anticipation. They wait until the 5 second mark before actually going in to the box.”

The show official began calling out the numbers loud enough for everyone to hear, “10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5-“ Castiel reached for his watch and set the timer as he led the gelding into the start box, “-4,3,2,1. Have a good ride!”

Balthazar took off like a colt in the Derby towards the first jump. It was a huge wooden wall with flowers decorating the top. The chestnut cleared it with plenty of room to spare and continued galloping over the green knolls and various fences until he got far enough out neither Dean nor Chuck could see them any longer. 

Chuck nudged Dean’s shoulder with the back of his hand to get his attention and headed towards a golf cart with officials huddled around it and a radio going off. “There are jump judges along the entire course that radio in that a rider has cleared fences, or refused them. We can listen in on his progress here. Balthazar had a great start.”

The radio crackled and a woman’s voice spoke, _“Rider 45 clear over obstacle 15.”_

The two waited in nervous excitement as the various rider numbers were called out and let out a sigh of a relief at the announcement of Castiel clearing all the obstacles before Dean could spot him coming in hot towards the final fence. Balthazar cleared it and passed through the final flags with ears forward and chest puffing out in pride. As soon as Castiel dismounted Dean was removing the bridle with swift motions and replacing it with the halter. Balthazar made instantly for a patch of grass, but Dean jerked up hard and began to walk the gelding out. 

“Double clear!” Chuck grinned, “That was great, Castiel! You couldn’t have asked for a more perfect ride.”

Even Dean could tell Castiel agreed. He was practically beaming as he took off his helmet. Well, as beaming as the man could possibly be. “He rode very well. I felt he was a bit reckless at the water complex, but we survived.” He turned to Dean, “Please make sure he is cooled out well before putting him back in the stall. Balthazar tends to overdo it in the speed category.”

“You got it, boss. Inias is all ready for you to go kick ass and take names with.” Dean gave him a thumbs up and a wink as he began making towards the wash stalls they had set up. Unfortunately with the ride times as close as they were, he would only be able to catch the last leg of Inias’s ride. After tying the gelding up and grabbing all the necessary soaps and tools from stall he set off to scrub Balthazar down. He had learned fast that the chestnut loved having his face scrubbed with one of the bath brushes and since he had been a good boy Dean made sure to give him some extra loving there. 

By the time Dean had properly cooled Balthazar out and made it back to the cross-county course with Inias’s halter Castiel was coming up over the final hill. “Hey, how’s he doing?”

“For Inias, great,” Chuck began, “They are going to get some time faults for going over the optimum time, but no refusals.”

“Is Inias just typically slower?” Dean asked as he began walking towards the finish flags.

“Are you kidding? At full speed Inias is the fastest horse Castiel owns. He used to be a pretty successful race horse back in the day. Problem is, Castiel gets nervous and ends up slowing him down.”

Dean went through the same routine with Inias as Castiel dismounted, this time with a disappointed look on his face. “Don’t beat yourself up. You made it over all the jumps without any problems,” Dean offered words of encouragement.

Castiel blew a sigh out of his nose as he began removing his gloves and unzipping his vest, “I suppose. We were far enough up in Dressage that the time penalties should not drop us.”

“See, don’t be such a Debby Downer, Cas.” Dean gave Inias a pat on his shoulder and started walking him out. Even as Castiel walked away Dean could see the dissatisfaction in the man’s posture. Honestly, he really needed to help get that stick out of the rider’s ass. He’d be a lot better off if he stopped worrying so much about things. Chuck helped Dean wrap Balthazar and Inias’s legs as Castiel changed into a pair of jeans and a polo to go watch the other competitors. 

“Hello, bitches,” came a cheerful voice from outside the stall as Dean finished putting a piece of duct tape on the last wrap to keep it on.

“Charlie,” Dean smiled. “How did your day go?”

“Gilda had a great ride,” she grinned as she leaned up against the stall to peer in at Dean. “She was only sitting fourth in her division, but there are still a few more riders left. It could all change by the end of the day. How did Cas do?”

“Double clear on Balthazar and just some time faults on Inias,” Dean responded as he exited Inias’s stall and latched the door behind him. 

“Hey, that’s great!” Charlie exclaimed.

“Yeah, well,” Dean shrugged, “if you asked Cas that he’d tell you otherwise.”

Charlie rolled her eyes, “He’s always like that; hard on himself. Gilda used to be like that, too.”

Dean crossed his arms and let himself use the stall to keep upright. “So how did you get her past it?”

“Well,” the red-head began as she plopped into Castiel’s chair, “One day she was watching some of the other competitors go on the cross-country course and a rider fell off. Everyone was ok, but the rider was so pissed off he started throwing this huge temper tantrum and started yelling at his horse like it was his fault or something. Gilda realized that she acted the same way when things didn’t go her way.”

“Huh,” Dean grunted in amusement, “and she saw how ugly it made her look.”

“Exactly,” Charlie nodded. “It wasn’t worth it to her anymore. It took away from everything this sport is supposed to be; a partnership. It’s not really about beating the other people, but beating yourself. If Gilda improves on just one movement on her Dressage test, she’s completely happy.”

“Castiel definitely falls into the category of those that throw a hissy fit when they don’t win,” Dean remarked as he ran a hand over his face, “and somehow I just see himself saying ‘I don’t do that’ if you tried to show him a mirror.”

Charlie hummed in agreement, “Yeah, probably. So you’ve got to find whatever it is that makes him realize it’s about fun. Trust me, a little fun in his life might actually keep that frown from becoming permanently engrained in his face.”

Dean snorted, “Fun? Do you really think Cas even knows the definition of the word?”

“Probably not,” Charlie agreed as she stood and clasped a hand to the man’s shoulder, “but that’s where you’ve got to show him.”

“Oh, thanks. Because that’s going to be so easy,” Dean rolled his eyes.

“And that’s where I’m glad it’s you and not me!” Charlie grinned as she started walking away. “Peace, bitches!”

“Castiel used to have fun,” Chuck finally spoke from the corner he had been hiding in, “back when his mom was still around and he was still riding in the Young Adult Riders league.”

Dean could feel the empathy rise up. “And then his mom died…” He knew that feeling all too well. He had fun around horses once-upon-a-time, too, when his mom was still alive. 

Chuck nodded as he picked up a cleaning sponge and began scrubbing a bridle absentmindedly, “And more importantly Michael taking over everything. It was ok for a while when Anna was still competing regularly, but then she had the accident. She hasn’t been back in it real long and for the longest time it was up to Castiel to bring in all the money.”

Dean grabbed an extra sponge and began on one of the saddles, “That had to have been hard on him. It was the same for me after my mom died and Dad just kind of gave up on everything. I couldn’t do it…and I had to give it up.”

“You didn’t give it up,” Chuck argued, “You simply changed avenues.”

“Yeah, because I couldn’t succeed at the other one.” Dean shook his head, “Yeah, well, it is what it is. All I can do is make sure Castiel succeeds so I still have a freaking job.”

/*/

Dean’s alarm went off early again and with a groan Dean turned it off to get himself ready. At least it was the final day of the competition. As usual, Castiel was a Chatty-Kathy and said absolutely nothing on the ride over to the stables. Dean checked the horses over for any swelling or injuries from the previous day and was pleased to find both the geldings completely sound. Unfortunately for Dean’s hands, both of the horses had to be braided again for the show jumping. Thankfully, Castiel was absent and Chuck was able to sneak his way in to pull the assist. 

The sun was hiding behind a thick veil of clouds and the horses’ breaths left visible puffs in the morning air. If Dean had been a horse, he’d figure this would be perfect weather to go running in. Castiel was dressed in his white breeches and red show coat when he finally showed back up to claim Balthazar. Dean would never admit it, but he might have been taking an extra stare at the way these particular breeches stretched over the taught thigh muscles and the curves of Castiel’s ass. 

Balthazar went double clear his round securing at least third place for the gelding. As Dean bridled Inias he leaned in and whispered to the gelding, “Hey, take care of him ok? I know it’ll be hard, but if he fucks up I need you to fix it. Sometimes you got to call his bluff and take care of business yourself, you hear?”

Dean and Chuck both felt anxious as they leaned up against the white railing of the arena with Castiel warming up waiting for the bell to signal the start of his course. The soft chime of the bell echoed and Castiel moved Inias up into a canter to begin. Inias floated across the sand as he approached the first jump and sailed over it with ease. Dean felt great about their ride as they continued around the course until the bay gelding had a bad approach, chipping in over a jump and barely clearing it. At that moment he could see the gears turning in Castiel’s head and the panic start to set in as they approached the triple combination. 

“Shit,” Dean muttered as he felt himself gripping the railing tight. Castiel was fighting too much with Inias as they approached the combination and sure enough, first jump, second jump, third jump…Inias knocked a rail on all three of the jumps. 

There was an amused snicker from behind the two boys. “Well, well, it looks like I’ll be sitting at the top of the winner’s circle once again.”

Dean whipped around and glared daggers at Crowley. If it weren’t for Chuck’s warning hand on his arm he would have punched the dick in the face. “Do you get your enjoyment from kicking people while they are down all the time?”

“No, not all the time,” Crowley picked at some dirt underneath his nails, “Sometimes I kick them while they are up, too.”

“You son-of-a-fucking-bitch,” Dean growled.

 _“Dean,”_ Chuck warned with a tug on the man’s arm to pull him away. “It’s not worth it.”

“Tell Castiel he should find another hobby,” Crowley winked. “Tootles.”

_“Rider number 52 completes the ride with 12 jumping faults and zero time penalties…”_

Dean jerked his arm away from Chuck and turned his focus back to Castiel who was trotting out of the arena on Inias. The man said absolutely nothing as he shoved the reigns into Dean’s hands and stormed off, but Dean clearly saw the tears that he had been so desperate to hide. With a heavy sigh Dean gave the gelding a pat. “I know you tried, buddy. He’s just a stubborn shit.” Inias snorted in agreement. 

Balthazar ended up in second place and Inias dropped to fifth. Even still, both horses ended up drawing money for Castiel and Inias won a bonus for having highest Dressage score in the entire competition. Dean was about to offer his congratulations to his boss when Castiel tossed the ribbons angrily into the trailer’s tack room, barely missing Dean’s face. 

“Load the horses and let’s go,” his voice demanded with a layer of thick venom.

“Well who shat in your Cherrios? You got a fucking blue ribbon and you were in the money with both horses! What the hell is there to be angry about?” Dean growled as he picked up the ribbons and hung them in a safer place than the floor. 

“I should have won, Dean!” Castiel hissed as he opened the passenger door to the truck. “If Inias hadn’t-,”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, stop right there,” Dean insisted bringing his hand to lie on the top of the truck above Castiel. “Inias wasn’t the one that froze up like a god damn glacier out there. You were giving him all those mixed signals out there and you want to put the blame on him? Why don’t you face facts that you are the one that fucks up, not the horse?”

Castiel’s cheeks turned red and his nose flared in anger as he leaned forward in to Dean’s personal space. “Load. The horses. Now.” He shoved Dean off the truck and closed the door. 

Dean growled as he leaned up against the glass, “Oh, yeah, it’s just so much easier to blame the horse, isn’t it? Perfect Castiel, couldn’t ever be his fault could it?” He slammed the glass with his palm before backing away.

“Dean,” Chuck sighed with Balthazar at his side ready to load.

“Fuck off,” Dean jeered as he opened up the trailer for Chuck to load the horse. The horses were loaded in silence and Dean slammed the driver side door hard enough to shake the entire truck before starting up the engine and heading towards the long driveway out of the farm. He kept waiting for Castiel to say something so he could blow up at the rider again, but it never came. The three of them sat there in an angry silence as the sky darkened on their way back home. 

Gripping the steering wheel with white knuckles Dean let the thoughts flow through his head. Anna had once told him that Castiel never actually fired anyone, and he understood why. The rider never got the chance to fire anyone before he drove them to quit. Dean had dealt with asshole riders before, but at least they didn’t play the up and down shit that Castiel seemed so fond of. For a brief day Dean had thought maybe he and Castiel could work things out, but once again he found himself thinking about who he could drop a résumé off to. Now that he had some English experience, it might be easier to get another job. 

They arrived back at Golden Gate Farms around 8 o’-clock and Chuck and Dean worked to unload the horses and tack. Once everything was part-way settled in Dean made his decision. Castiel was gathering up his show clothes to take up to the house when Dean stopped him. “I’ll make sure Inias and Balthazar are settled in for the night, but then that’s it. I’m out of here tonight, Cas.”

Castiel’s head whipped around with wide eyes. “What?”

Dean let out a disgusted snort, “Oh, because this comes as such a shock to you. Why do you think I’d stick around when you continuously treat me like shit? You told me the first time it was because I stand up for you and I help you, but when the hell do you stand up for _me_? When are you going to help _me_? What, did you think that by just giving me the job that was enough pity and you could treat the invalid however you wanted?”

“Dean, no-,”

“Shove it, Cas. Yeah, it was a nice freaking sloppy ass handjob we had in the middle of the barn. It felt good enough to cloud the hell out of my judgment that night, but it’s going to take a lot more than that to keep me around.”

Castiel sucked in a breath and clung to the shoulder strap of his bag, “If that’s what you require…”

“ _Jesus,Cas_! For fuck’s sake!” Dean exclaimed, his voice raising enough to draw Chuck out of the tack room. “I don’t want you whoring yourself out to me, I just want to be treated like a human being!”

Castiel was visibly shaking as he swallowed hard and managed to squeak out a “Please.”

Standing his ground Dean firmly responded, “No. I wish you the best of luck, I really do, but I won’t be a part of it any longer.” With his head held high he turned and began walking back towards the barn. 

Chuck struggled with what to say as Dean walked by before grabbing the man’s arm and looking at him with the most pleading set of eyes, “Dean, please. I know better than anyone how much of a pain Castiel can be, but _please_ don’t leave. It’ll kill him.”

“Well,” Dean said as he threw a flake of hay into Inias’s stall before looking Chuck dead in the eye, “Maybe he should have thought of that before being such a dick.” He made it a point to brush shoulders hard with the man before making his way up the stairs of their loft. 

“Shit,” Chuck whispered as he began fumbling in his pocket for his phone.

/*/

Dean had nowhere to go that night, but he would be damned if he stayed at that farm a second longer. It had taken all of five minutes to throw everything he owned into his duffle and pack up the Impala. There had been a small bar off the road with inviting neon lights that easily attracted his attention. It was hardly crowded, maybe all of 15 people there, but the cold beer felt nice going down his throat. 

“You know,” A soft voice spoke from his side, “It looks like you could use someone to talk to.”

Dean turned his head and frowned as Anna took a seat next to him. “My mind is made up, thanks.” He took another swig of his beer and signaled to the bartender for another. 

Anna rubbed at a spot behind her ear before letting out a sigh. “My brother…he has problems, I know. But, he can’t control it. It’s not all really him.”

“Oh, so now I’m supposed to excuse his behavior. It’s ok that he treats me like shit because he doesn’t mean it,” Dean snorted as he moved for his shot of whiskey. 

“No, I’m not saying that,” Anna protested, “But I need you to understand that the way he speaks about you when you aren’t around…it’s the happiest he’s been. The day you taught him to join-up with Inias, he couldn’t stop talking about it. And the progress you’ve made with Lucifer…”

“Yeah, well,” he made a face as the whiskey burned on the way down, “It would have been nice to have heard it from him.”

“He doesn’t know how,” Anna groaned. “Look, I won’t betray my brother’s trust by telling you all about his problems, but there are legitimate medical reasons he is the way he is. Believe it or not, he has made so much progress since you showed up and I just don’t-,” she put a hand to her mouth as she began to choke up with tears. 

The way the light hit the woman’s shirt caused Dean to see the wet spot soaking throat the right shoulder of her fabric. Had…that been from Castiel? With a heavy heart and heavy sigh Dean rubbed a hand down his face, “Anna, I can’t take it. It’s abuse.”

“I know, and,” She wiped away at the tears, “I’m going to do everything I can to help. I’ll be there every time Castiel goes down to the barn so I can help with his behavior. Once he trusts you, I promise he won’t act like that.”

Dean rubbed at the back of his neck and groaned as he looked up in defeat. Everything was telling him to blow Anna off and continue on down the road, but there was just something about those big blue eyes and the stain on Anna’s shirt that was sucking him back. “Fine.”

Anna flung out of her stool and wrapped her arms around Dean’s neck, “Thank you! I’ll even give you a pay raise!”

“Yeah, you better,” Dean joked as he threw down a wad of money on the counter and stood. “But this is it, Anna. I mean it.”

Anna nodded vigorously. “I promise, if you want to leave again I won’t try and stop you.”

/*/

“Just say it,” Dean groaned at Chuck’s thousandth smile.

Chuck just grinned wider, “I have to say, I didn’t think Anna would be able to convince you to come back…but I’m glad you did, Dean. You love the horses and you do so well here.”

Bobby gave a snort as he dumped a shovel of horse poop into the wheel barrel. “Well he didn’t come back for the human company, that’s for damn sure.”

“Definitely not for you, old man,” Dean agreed with a smile. 

“…Dean?”

Dean looked up to see a shocked Castiel standing in the middle of the aisle way. Chuck and Bobby instantly began taking their work elsewhere which caused an eye-roll from Dean. “Balthazar had a little heat in his front right leg this morning,” He spoke casually as he continued to re-arrange the brushes in the grooming bucket. “I put poultice on it and wrapped it back up. He isn’t lame, so I think he’ll be ok in the mor-oof!” Castiel buried his face in the crook of Dean’s neck and hugged his waist tightly. Dean stood there, not knowing what to do before slowly bringing his arms down and hugging the man back. 

Traces of a smile tugged at the corners of his lips.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woooooo! Things got steamy there at the end writing this! Made it kind of difficult for me to finish ;) As always, please follow me on Tumblr @Kashoku for chapter updates and fanart! I'm actually in the progress of doing a painting for the fic and I DO livestream!

True to her word, Anna had come down every morning with Castiel. For the most part she kept her distance and had tried to let the two work things out themselves, but there had been a few occasions where he would see her pull Castiel aside if he started getting too irritated with Dean. Things weren’t great, but they were bearable and for that Dean was fairly thankful. He had gotten in a comfortable routine around here and it would suck to have to throw it away. 

“You and Cas seem a little better,” Bobby commented as he dumped morning feed into Uriel’s bucket. 

Dean had woken up early and decided to help the older man instead of lying around in bed. With a shrug he responded, “No worse than it was, I guess. Maybe he just finally realized dicks don’t get what they want.”

Bobby snorted, “Uh-huh. For a dick he sure does keep getting his way with you.”

Dean frowned and dropped the scoop he had picked up back into the barrel. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Boy, I wasn’t born yesterday,” Bobby scoffed. “For someone you sure bitch about a lot, he sure does have you wrapped around his finger. Twice you’ve ‘quit’ and twice you’ve come back. I don’t care how much you love the horses, son, you didn’t come back for them.” 

“What the hell are you insinuating, Bobby?” Dean asked with crossed arms.

Bobby raised an eyebrow, “I ain’t givin ya the birds and the bees speech-”

“What?!” Dean felt his cheeks flush red, “It’s not like that!”

“Uh-huh. Maybe not yet, but I’ve been around Castiel a lot longer than you, son. It may not seem that way to you, but in his own way he is telling you he needs you. For christ’s sake, he sent Anna after you and you want to sit here and tell me ‘it ain’t like that’?”

“For a stable hand you sure do know a lot,” Dean grumbled unhappily as he finally dumped Balthazar’s grain after an unhappy kick at the door from the gelding. 

Bobby shrugged, “I have my resources. The two of you act like a god damn married couple.”

Dean let out an amused snort, “And you would know that?”

“Hey, I was married once,” he responded as he picked up the wheelbarrow and moved it down to the next set of stalls. 

“I’m telling you, Bobby, it ain’t like that,” Dean insisted.

“So you are telling me that not even once you’ve maybe thought about it?” Bobby asked with an intense gaze. Dean’s cheeks grew an even brighter shade of red as he turned away from the man’s stare. “That’s what I thought. Idjit.”

“Dean.”

Dean jumped as Castiel approached from behind. Grasping at his heart he held on to the stall door to regain his balance. “Jesus, Cas!”

“My apologies,” Castiel spoke curiously, surprised that he had startled the man. “I just wanted to inform you that a shipment of hay should be here soon. I will need you, Bobby, and Chuck to help unload and store the hay.”

“Hate to break it to you, but Chuck caught some stomach bug and he’s been blowing up like Mt. Vesuvius since about 10 last night,” Dean mentioned.

“How many bales we got coming? I’m sure Dean and I can handle it,” Bobby asked as he finished with the last feeding.

“I’m preparing for winter, so I ordered 200,” Castiel answered.

“Aw, hell,” Bobby groaned. “I can just tell this is going to do wonders for my back.”

“We’ll take care of it, Cas,” Dean assured. “200 bales is nothing compared to what I’m used to.” It was true. That was considered a low load at most of the big cutting and roping farms he had always worked at. Golden Gates was probably the smallest farm horse wise he had worked on. 

“Adam always helps unload the feed and hay when he gets here, but short stuff runs out of breath real quick,” Bobby warned. 

“That’s your priority,” Castiel said. “If you finish before I am done, then you can assist me.”

Dean nodded and continued helping Bobby with morning chores until the truck arrived with the load. Adam was a young kid, maybe barely 18, but he was obviously a hard worker. He was a quick stacker as Bobby and Dean moved the bales to the hay shed, but Bobby had been right when he said the kid fell through quick. 

“Hey,” Dean stopped Adam from picking up another bale. The kid’s face was bright red with exhaustion. “Go grab some water and take a break, alright?” Adam nodded as he wiped his face with a rag and began walking off. “Think you can lift those up to me, old man?”

Bobby growled in annoyance, “Can I lift it? You’d think I’d never worked on a farm -,” there was a loud crack as Bobby went to pick up the bale. Bobby’s face grew bright red and cringed in pain.

Dean’s shoulders slumped and he tilted his head in sympathetic amusement. “Really?”

“Balls!” Bobby hunched over and put a hand to his lower back. 

“Go grab an icepack and some painkillers. I can take care of this myself,” Dean instructed.

“Dean, you’ve got half the truck left still to unload!” Bobby protested.

“I’ll be fine!” The man insisted as he moved to the truck to start pulling off bales. It would mean he’d be utterly exhausted by tomorrow, but it was nothing he hadn’t done before. There would be blisters, and cuts all along his forearms…but it wasn’t anything he hadn’t done before. With a heavy sigh he wiped his brow and began stacking at a much slower pace than they had been moving before. 

“Dean.”

Dean did a better job of not jumping quite as much at Castiel’s sudden appearance. “Yeah?” He was completely drenched in sweat at this point. His shirt was clinging to his skin and his rag was useless in wiping his face any longer. The veins in his lower arm were bulging as he lifted each bale.

“I saw Bobby when I was finishing up with Gabriel. He said you were the only one slinging hay.”

If Dean didn’t know better, he’d say Castiel looked almost concerned. “Yeah, well, Adam looked like he was about to have a heat stroke, Bobby broke his back, and Chuck’s passed out like a god damn corpse up there.”

“Hmm,” Castiel frowned, his eyes narrowing in a squint. “I could help.”

Dean coughed, “Uh, I’m sorry, what?”

“I could help you. You look tired already, and I could help speed things up,” Castiel spoke as if it made complete logical sense. 

Dean blinked hard thinking maybe the heat or something was getting to him. But it wasn’t that hot, and he wasn’t really tired enough to start hallucinating yet. “Ok…well…grab some gloves.” Huh. Who would have thought it…Castiel was a lot stronger than his lithe form indicated, and he was an extreme help to Dean. They worked like a well-oiled machine with Castiel moving the bales from the truck to the shed and Dean stacking them with precision. 

With a tired grunt Castiel let the last bale fall to the ground. “That’s it.”

Dean gave a friendly clap to the man’s shoulder. “Come on, let’s go get some water.” They walked back to the tack room and Dean opened up the fridge to pull out two cold bottles. As he set Castiel’s water out in front of him he noticed the man taking off his gloves to reveal throbbing red hands. Without a word Dean was grabbing at them. “Shit, Cas.”

Castiel winced at Dean’s touch. “I suppose I’m not used to that kind of work…”

“You popped those blisters already…,” Dean led Castiel over to the faucet and shoved his hands under cold water. “Stay there.” Opening one of the drawers Dean pulled out the first-aid kit and went to work. After gently toweling off the man’s hands he placed some Neosporin on the open blisters and bandaged them. “Thank you…for helping.”

Castiel held his hands close to his sides and his face down in embarrassment. “I…thank you for taking care of my hands.”

“Maybe you should toughen them up a little, yeah?” Dean suggested playfully as he packed up the first-aid kit and put it back into the drawer. “I wouldn’t ride anymore today.”

Castiel nodded, “No I wasn’t planning on it…Dean?”

“Yeah?” Dean asked as he shuffled through to find a clean towel to finally wipe the dirt and sweat off his face. 

“I’d…” Castiel shifted uncomfortably and Dean felt like the man was about to pass out on the spot. “I would like it if you let me take you to dinner…as a thank you for your assistance with the hay.”

Dean raised an intrigued eyebrow. “Isn’t that kind of my job?”

Castiel swallowed hard and dropped his gaze. “Yes…but, you did more than what was required of you. If you don’t want to, I understand. I just thought-,”

“Cas,” Dean interrupted, “I’ll go…as long as you’re paying.”

Castiel gave a smile, “Of course. Is 6 o’clock acceptable?”

“Sure…but I’m driving,” Dean insisted.

/*/

It was awkward. Dean knew it would be, but how could he honestly have said no when Castiel had _actually_ helped him and offered to do something nice? Castiel directed him to a casual steakhouse that was probably too expensive, but Dean held his tongue on the issue. They made small talk with Castiel inquiring about Sam and Dean asking about the horses and their training. 

They ordered another round of drinks and Castiel surprised Dean with his next question. “What is it you really wish you could do?”

Dean looked up from his last few bites of his steak and frowned. “What?”

Castiel gave an annoyed huff, “It’s obvious that being my personal groom is not your first choice in professions. What is it you really wish to do?”

“Well,” he stabbed his fork into the steak a little harder than necessary, “I guess I always assumed I’d take over my dad’s ranch. I showed some of the client’s horses while in training, and I always did alright.”

“But was that really what you saw yourself doing?” Castiel gave a brief nod in thanks to the waiter as their beers were set on the table.

“I uh,” Dean gave a short smile, “I always kind of wanted to be a cowboy, I guess. The rodeo life was pretty appealing, you know? Stay on for 8 seconds and you are a hero. Live on the road, seedy motels....I could see myself doing it.” His face fell and he let his silverware fall to the plate. “But those dreams are past. As long as I can stay working with horses, I’ll be happy.” A silence fell over the two as Dean took a hefty swig from his beer. “So, uh...did you always plan on doing what you do?”

Castiel gave a shrug, “I suppose. I don’t really remember a time I wasn’t around horses.”

“Never wanted to become some fancy doctor or businessman?”

“I couldn’t...,” Castiel’s gaze dropped from Dean to the table. “I couldn’t be any of those things.”

“If that’s what you really wanted, I’m sure you could have figured something out, Cas,” Dean insisted. 

“No,” Cas snapped venomously, “You don’t under-,” he sucked in a deep breath and sat back in his seat. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snap....I just...there were and still are circumstances that would not allow for such things.”

Dean brought the tip of his bottle to his lips and narrowed his eyes questioningly. He was about to press the issue, but didn’t want to press his luck when Castiel had successfully managed to hold his temper already. “Ok. Well, thanks for dinner. You didn’t have to do that.”

“I wanted to,” Castiel insisted as he took the bill and pulled out his credit card. 

They finished paying for their meals and walked back to Dean’s Impala. There was mostly silence on the drive back to the farm, but for once Dean didn’t feel that there was an unpleasant air about them. Dean was considerate enough to pull all the way up to the house to let the man out. Castiel was halfway to the door when he stopped himself and turned back towards the car. 

Dean rolled down the window, “Forget something?”

“No, I...,” Castiel paused as if to think how to phrase the words in his head before leaning down and placing his hands on the car door, “I don’t think I’ll ride tomorrow. As much as I don’t like to admit it, my hands are bothering me and I’d rather not risk it. I was wondering if you could perhaps teach me other ways to...bond.”

Dean laughed, “One day of real work has you done, huh? Yeah, ok. I can think up something.”

Castiel nodded, “So, I’ll see you in the morning, then?”

“As always,” Dean agreed. He rested his temple against his hand, elbow on the window sill, and smiled as he watched Castiel close the door behind him. Feeling lighter, Dean started the ignition and drove back down to the farm. 

Chuck was up and moving about looking a lot better than when Dean had left him that morning. “Well, I see someone is back from their date.”

Dean glared daggers, “It was not a date.”

“Really? Because from what Bobby told me, it was definitely a date,” Chuck grinned.

“That old man better learn to keep his mouth shut or bad things are going to happen,” Dean huffed. “He just took me out to dinner. Nothing else!”

“You are highly underestimating the severity of this situation, Dean,” Chuck urged as he popped a few potato chips into his mouth. “He not only offered, but actually helped you stack hay. I’ve been here for years and never seen him lay a finger on any of the stable chores. He’s also never invited me out for dinner, which I resent by-the-way.”

“Oh, well, God forbid Cas actually starts to act like a decent human being,” Dean rolled his eyes as he kicked off his shoes and began stripping down to his nightwear. “Some of us didn’t sleep all day, so I’d appreciate it if you shut your cakehole.”

“I’ll try not to interrupt your wet dreams about your boss,” Chuck giggled as a pillow made its way towards his face.

But it was indeed blue eyes and a husky voice that Dean dreamt of that night.

/*/

When Castiel made his way down to the barn, the first thing Dean did was demand to see his hands. They weren’t as red as the previous day, but they were still tender as Castiel flinched away when he touched a few spots. “Keep them bandaged while you work down here,” he ordered, “then let them get some air at night.”

Castiel did not protest as Dean finished bandaging the hands back up. “What is it we are going to do today.?”

“Your blisters shouldn’t interfere too much with it...I was hoping to teach you some chiropractic and massage techniques. You don’t have to be certified to do the basics and it can turn even Lucifer into an angel.”

Castiel’s eyes narrowed in his famous squint, “Lucifer is an angel, he’s just fallen.”

Dean rolled his eyes, “Ok, Mr. Know-it-all, thank you. Just, come here.” He led Castiel to Inias’s stall and opened the door motioning for the rider to join him in the stall. “So, we all know how important it is to keep a horse’s back healthy. An easy way to do that is by having them stretch it out before you ride them. There’s a different sweet spot on each horse, but most of the time the belly is the key.” Dean grabbed Castiel’s hand and guided it underneath Inias’s belly towards his sheath. “Start scratching him.”

Castiel did as was instructed and Inias immediately began curling his back upwards and stretching his nose out. The gelding’s eyes were drooping in pure bliss the more Castiel scratched at him. “He likes that.”

“Yeah, he does, and it’s good for him, too. They like it back here, too,” Dean moved towards Inias’s tail and began scratching his butt on both sides. Inias’s rear instantly buckled and he found himself collapsing to the stall floor. 

Castiel stepped back in surprise as it happened. For a moment he worried Inias might have been hurt, but the horse’s head was to the floor, lip quivering in ecstasy. “I think that might have been too overwhelming for him.”

Dean grinned as he stopped scratching the horse and gave him a pat on the back. Inias groaned in displeasure at the lack of his touch and stretched his legs out in front of him. With a heavy grunt the gelding hoisted himself back on all fours and shook off the shavings. “He also really likes his face brushed, so I think he’d love a good face massage. Stand over here,” Dean grabbed Castiel’s shoulders and positioned the man right in front of him by the horse’s head. Curling his fingers around Castiel’s he took the man’s index and middle finger and touched them to the star on Inias’s forehead. “You want a firm pressure and you just move your fingers in small circles, like this,” he began moving Castiel’s fingers and the horse instantly began dropping his head.

Castiel jerked his fingers away from Dean’s and turned so that he was facing the taller man. They were standing almost nose to nose and Castiel’s blue eyes were heavily dilated. “Dean,” his voice shook. Inias lifted his head and shoved it into Castiel’s lower back causing the rider to pitch forward and his lips were suddenly on Dean’s. Dean moaned in surprise, but he did nothing to break their kiss. 

With wide and shocked eyes Castiel backed away. “I’m sorry I-,” Dean’s lips were on his again and with a rough shove he had the man’s back against the stall wall. Dean laced his fingers into dark locks and thrust his groin against Castiel’s. Dean sucked a gasp from his mouth before the rider could finally break free. “Dean, I...I don’t know what I’m doing.”

Dean’s response came in the form of a frown before his eyes widened in realization. “Wait. Are you saying my hasty hand job at the horse show was your first time with someone?” Castiel’s cheeks flushed hot in embarrassment. “God, why didn’t you say something?!”

“I was scared! I was scared you’d leave and I thought having sex would keep you around!” Castiel admitted, his body shaking visibly. 

Dean put his hands against the wood by Castiel’s head and leaned in, “And now? Are you scared?”

“I...,” Castiel swallowed hard as he gazed into Dean’s eyes, “Yes. Scared of what I’m feeling.”

“What are you feeling, Cas?” Dean breathed against the man’s neck, purposely blowing hot air against his ear. 

“I,” He trembled, “don’t know. I just - please don’t stop.”

Dean placed his hands on Castiel’s face and captured his mouth in a lustful kiss, sucking hard on his bottom lip enough to leave a bruise. “Please tell me you want this,” he breathed. “Tell me this isn’t because you think I’ll leave. I won’t. If you say no, it won’t change anything.”

There was a few moments of just their heavy pants. Castiel licked his lips before lunging forward and latching on to the side of Dean’s neck and sucking. “Show me,” he panted, “Show me what to do.”

Dean began to plant kisses down the side of Castiel’s jaw and his neck as he guided the man’s hand to the top of his waistband and down the front until fingers were wrapping around his rapidly hardening length. “Just like that,” he sighed in contentment, thrusting up into Castiel’s hand. 

Castiel continued to stroke Dean through his jeans until he got frustrated with the constriction. Removing his hand he undid the button of Dean’s jeans and slowly unzipped him. Reaching in through the hole of his boxers he pulled Dean’s swollen length out and continued to stroke. 

Dean moaned into Castiel’s mouth before batting the rider’s hand away and lowering himself onto his knees. It wasn’t even until a swish of Inias’s tail that he even remembered that they were still in the horse’s stall. He made much quicker work of Castiel’s jeans to expose the already leaking flesh. Dean gave the head a flick of his tongue and it was enough to bring out a sharp gasp from the man above him. Grinning, Dean wrapped his swollen lips around the entire head and began sucking with experience. 

Castiel bit his lip as hard as he could to muffle his moans, but whimpers escaped every few seconds. His hips bucked sporadically as if he had no control over his actions. When Dean began licking the underside he felt his head slam back against the wall in pleasure. Dean grabbed hold of himself between his legs and began stroking as he continued to fondle Castiel’s balls with his other had and swirling his tongue around hot flesh. 

“Dean!” Castiel cried, “I’m-I’m-,” There was an excruciatingly loud gasp as Castiel came spurting hot liquid into Dean’s mouth. Quivering knees buckled and Castiel felt himself fall.

Dean swallowed and wrapped his arms around Castiel’s legs to steady him as he slid down the wall to the bottom of the stall. “You ok?”

Castiel was breathing heavily, pupils blown with lust, and trembling. Closing his eyes he counted in his head to steady his breathing. When he felt he was in control enough to speak he noticed Dean’s unspent erection. “Do you want me to…?”

“Do _you_ want to, Cas?” Dean asked as he grabbed hold of Castiel’s softened dick and helped readjust him back into his boxers and jeans. 

“I won’t be good,” Castiel spoke softly with embarrassment. 

“It’s easy,” Dean assured. Looking back, he made sure there was no horse poop in his way before sliding up against the back wall and spreading his legs in invitation. 

With uncertainty, Castiel crawled in-between Dean’s legs and opened his mouth to take in the tip of his erection. He flinched slightly at the unexpected salty taste, but grew confident and took in more of his length.

“Teeth,” Dean warned, but let out a pleasured sigh as Castiel began bobbing up and down. Threading his fingers in Castiel’s hair he began messaging the man’s scalp in encouragement. “Christ, Cas. Feels so good.” Dean let his eyes close until he felt his stomach begin to tighten. “I’m about to come,” he warned as he pushed the rider off of him. “Don’t swallow your first time,” he breathed as he began stroking himself to completion. Release was like an explosion as he spilt over his hand. 

Hesitantly, Castiel moved his hand to grip the base of Dean’s limp cock. “Can I….taste?”

“Only if you want to. It’s not everyone’s thing,” Dean responded through heavy breaths. 

Castiel licked his lip in thought before reaching down and licking the semen clean off of Dean’s flesh. “It’s…salty, but not bad.”

Dean laughed as he began to put himself back together. , “Good to know I taste ok. I think I successfully taught you bonding techniques.” He got back on his feet and helped Castiel back up. “You should probably get out of here before we are caught. I have some chores I need to do around here, and you should let your hands rest. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

Castiel nodded as he followed Dean out of the stall. “Dean…?”

“Yeah?” Dean asked as he ran a hand through his hair to try and get it to lie in his usual style.

“What are we?”

Dean latched Inias’s stall door and readjusted the halter on the hook even though there was nothing wrong with it. “I don’t know, Cas, what do you want to be?”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Unfortunately, FHWW is now officially on Hiatus. I really need to focus on my Big Bang since there is a deadline, and because of their similarity in nature, I'm getting the two stories confused! I have to have my Big Bang finished by August, so the hiatus won't last any longer than that...and maybe it'll be quicker if I can knock it out! I promise my DCBB will be SO worth it! I've been spending a lot of time and putting a lot of effort in to it! I love ALL of you and hope you are understanding!
> 
> Art at the end of the chapter is by yours truly. I post my art on my tumblr, kashoku@tumblr and livestream often!

“Castiel,” Dr. Barnes tapped the point of her pen irritably against the paper, “You’ve hardly said a word. Anna told me what happened with Dean. Don’t you want to talk about it?”

Castiel was staring out the window paying very little attention until he randomly blurted out, “Dean and I had sex.”

Dr. Barnes’s eyes grew wide and her lips formed a straight thin line. “Oh. I…see. It _was_ consensual, I assume?”

Castiel locked eyes with her and frowned, not understanding. “What?”

Dr. Barnes shifted in her seat and pulled at the hem of her skirt, quickly expecting this to head south. “You wanted it. Dean did not try and force it on you?”

“No, of course not,” Castiel responded as if the entire notion was quite ridiculous. He didn’t understand why she would think otherwise. 

“That’s good,” she responded as she began furiously writing notes. “Was Dean the one to instigate it?”

There was a firm nod, “Yes.” Castiel didn’t feel comfortable instigating it yet. Even though he had been the one to plant the first kiss, there was no way the sex would ever be his idea initially. 

“And how does all of this make you feel?”

Castiel loathed that question. Everything always lead up to it. Feelings were foreign to Castiel, so trying to find ways to describe it was always a struggle. After thinking on it, he finally settled with, “Confused.”

“How so?” She pressed.

Rubbing nervously at his arms he responded, “I don’t know what it is I’m feeling. When he gets close to me I feel myself grow…hot. My stomach just…seems to come alive.”

The corner of Dr. Barnes’s lip drew up in amusement, “Like butterflies?” Castiel responded with a nod. Uncrossing her legs she sat up straighter. “Castiel, what you are feeling is love; or rather, the beginnings of it.”

Castiel’s face froze and eyes grew wide in disbelief. That couldn’t be right. “But, I love Anna, and I do not feel this way around her.”

That pulled a chuckle out of Dr. Barnes. “Castiel, there are many different ways in which to love someone. What you have with Anna is love for a family member. These feelings you have around Dean are the beginnings of romantic love.”

Castiel felt his body grow small as he hugged his knees to his chest. “That cannot be it. I cannot be falling for Dean Winchester.”

“It’s very common to feel scared, Castiel. It’s something new that you haven’t experienced before,” Dr. Barnes explained comfortingly.

“No,” Castiel snapped, “You don’t understand. He could never love me back. Statistically speaking, relationships with people in my condition only succeed 27% of the time-,”

“Castiel,” Dr. Barnes interrupted.

“And even those 27% have to see counselors on a regular basis and -,”

“Castiel!” She snapped. Taking in a deep breath she calmed herself, “Listen. I don’t want you focusing on statistics anymore. Don’t worry about other people, worry about you. If being in a relationship is what you truly want, you can make it succeed even with your condition. If it’s what _Dean_ wants, he’ll make it work.”

Castiel shook his head in strong disagreement, “But I can’t tell Dean.”

“Maybe not now, no, but if the two of you find yourselves becoming serious then you must tell him.”

Castiel clenched and relaxed his fists several times before asking, “After Dean and I had sex, I asked him what this meant for us.”

“And what did he say in response to that?” Dr. Barnes asked curiously.

“He told me it was up to me to decide that.”

Dr. Barnes hummed in approval. “It may not seem obvious to you, but that is a very honorable and respectable thing for Dean to do that considering. He is allowing you to be in control of this relationship you have. Make sure when you do decide to tell him where you stand, you are very clear on your intentions. The two of you hardly wasted time on getting in bed, so he might think you want a purely sexual relationship. Is that what you are looking for?”

Castiel thought about it before shaking his head slightly, “It is nice, but that’s...not all I want.”

“Then make sure he knows that. Castiel, I’m happy for you. This is a huge step. Know that if you ever have any questions I’m a phone call away.” She glanced up at the clock. “That’s all we have time for today. I’ll see you Monday?”

/*/

Chuck was a fairly good roommate as far as Dean was concerned, but he was getting tired of having to have private time in the shower. With one hand braced against the back tiles of the shower and the other stroking himself he thought of blue eyes and chapped lips sucking virginally at his dick. His release felt nothing like when it had been the real thing, but it would just have to do for now. Neither of them had discussed their actions in Inias’s stall, but he had not failed to notice the fleeting touches from Castiel whenever the rider could manage to sneak them in.

Humming to Led Zepplin he dressed and made his way downstairs to start his early morning rounds. Lucifer needed a good bath and grooming, so he decided to make that his daily project. Anna had already gotten an early start with Chuck. There was a big Dressage show that weekend that had Anna stressing so much it was going to turn her bright red hair gray. Dean was cleaning Lucifer’s hooves when Castiel called his name. “What’s the word, Cas?”

Castiel gave a squint of confusion, but decided not to comment. “May I speak with you for a moment?”

“Thought that’s what we were doing,” Dean replied sarcastically with a grin. 

“In private,” Castiel specified.

Dean’s face fell. Shit. Putting on his big boy pants and putting the hoof pick away he nodded, “Yeah, sure thing. Break room?”

Castiel nodded and the two filed in, Castiel closing the door behind them. The rider kept his back flush with the door and hands gripped tightly at the handle behind him. “I’ve been thinking a lot...about what you said.”

“I say a lot of things, Cas, you’ll have to be more specific,” Dean propped himself up against the table and crossed his arms nervously.

“About how I want to define our relationship.”

Oh. “And?” Dean asked carefully.

Castiel bit at his inner cheek and shifted his weight before responding hurriedly, “I don’t want it to be sexual - I mean I do want to have sex with you, but I don’t want that to be the focus of our relationship and -”

“Cas,” Dean interrupted with an amused smile and a relieved breath as he pushed off the table to approach the man. When the rider wasn’t being so incredibly irritating, he was kind of adorable. “I get it.” Leaning in he captured Castiel’s lips with his own for a brief moment before taking a step back. “You want to give it a good honest try. I was never really good at relationships, you know.”

“I would think it clear the same could be said for me,” Castiel swallowed, still taken back by the impromptu kiss. “I suppose, we’ll make it up as we go.”

“This means you better stop being an asshole all the time,” Dean brushed a finger across the man’s cheek before stealing another kiss.

Castiel’s grip on the door handle had relaxed and he finally found himself letting go to place his hands on Dean’s hips. “Hmm, we better keep up appearances.”

“Oh, so that’s your excuse for being mean to me, huh?” Dean snorted as he backed up from the man so that he could open the door. 

“On that note, the bits weren’t clean this morning,” Castiel spoke casually as he walked out back into the alleyway where Lucifer was pawing impatiently at the ground.

“Haha, real funny,” Dean rolled his eyes as he followed, thumping Lucifer on the muzzle to get him to stop.

“I’m being quite serious,” Castiel responded.

Dean gave Castiel the best bitch-face he had. “ _Really_?”

“There was grass caked on the rings!” Castiel huffed. “Would you want a dirty bit shoved in your mouth?”

“I wouldn’t want a piece of metal shoved in my mouth at all!” Dean argued back. “And come on, it gives it flavor!”

“Flavor?!” Castiel gasped. “You call days old crusted on grass, flavor?!”

“Christ! Get a room you two,” Bobby shouted, head peeking out from one of the stalls he was working on. 

Castiel flushed bright red and crossed his arms. “Tack Lucifer up for Dressage and do make sure you clean his tack properly once I am finished.”

Dean angrily grabbed a brush from the grooming bin and went to work on Lucifer. “Well, since you said please.” Castiel walked off silently leaving Dean to bask in the fumes, but he found them quickly dissipating. The anger just didn’t linger like it did all the other times Castiel pissed him off. In fact, he hadn’t been thinking about the argument so much as how good the man would look flushed and angry underneath him. A smile tugged at his lips at the imagery. 

Dean watched from the rail of the outdoor jumping arena with Alfie, the barn cat, perched on the post next to his right arm. Even though Dean wasn’t particularly fond of cats, he would occasionally reach out and give the red and white tabby a scratch on the head. Dean could tell Castiel felt confident today. His ride was much more graceful on Gabriel and Inias jumping. 

His green eyes couldn’t help but stare at the powerful thighs he couldn’t wait to get in between gripping the saddle tight over fences. A line of sweat damped Castiel’s polo down his back, and visions of it trickling across bare skin danced in his head. A heat began building in his groin and with a curse he palmed at it to get it to calm the fuck down.

Castiel worked every horse that day, the sun beginning to set by the time he dismounted Balthazar and handed off the reigns to Dean. Another show was coming, and Castiel was bound and determined to be confident enough he’d perform well. Dean was supportive in his efforts, but knew it would be shot out the window in a show setting. His show problems could only be fixed at the show.

Dean finished bathing and taking care of Balthazar before seeking Castiel in the break room staring at the white board with the lists of show dates and the mounts he was taking. Snaking his arms around the rider’s torso he planted a kiss to the man’s neck. “How many times do I have to tell you not to think about shows?”

“Some thinking must be done in order to plan for it,” the rider argued, leaning in to the kiss.

“You know,” Dean purred into the rider’s skin, “Everyone’s gone for the day but us.”

“Yes, and?” Castiel asked, unsure as to what Dean was insinuating.

Dean rolled his eyes playfully and ran his hands up the back of Castiel’s legs, “ _And_ I’ve been thinking all day about you...” He turned Castiel around and backed him up against the table, his hands now on the firm thighs, “About what it would feel like with these thighs wrapped around my waist,” he lifted Castiel on to the table and shoved his body in between the man’s legs, “while you rode me like one of your horses.”

Dean was certain he could feel the man’s heart beating out of his chest even though there was air between them. Castiel lowered his head and averted his gaze. “I...I don’t think I’m ready for that.”

There was definite disappointment at the reply, but Dean pushed it to the rear. “Ok. Is there something else you want to do?”

“I liked what we did after the show...in Inias’s stall,” Castiel blushed. Dean hummed in agreement before grabbing the man’s hand and pulling him along. “Where are we going?”

“Somewhere a little more private,” Dean responded as he led Castiel out of the barn and to the hay barn. As soon as they hit the shadows of the interior Dean had his hands on the hem of Castiel’s shirt pulling it up and over the man’s head before pushing him down onto a pile of hay and following after him, lips crashing down on top of one another. 

Neither of them had seen each other fully naked, and Dean was determined for that to end tonight. His hands were all over Castiel’s now bare chest, memorizing every inch of it underneath his fingers. Castiel was pulling at his polo trying to get it over his brought shoulders in between their kisses. Dean didn’t want to pull away, but broke their kiss long enough to get out of his dark green polo. Placing his hands on Castiel’s shoulders he thrust his hips forward grinding their erections together. 

“Dean,” Castiel breathed as his head fell back against the hay, back arched up to meet the man above him. 

“Tell me what you want,” Dean breathed against his neck, hands trailing lower and lower, but never underneath his breeches. 

“No clothes,” Castiel breathed through gasps of pleasure. 

Dean flicked his tongue out at the man’s ear as he made work of the button and zipper of his breeches. Castiel was still wearing his tall boots and unfortunately it required leverage from Dean to pull them off. He had to pull away and use both hands to free him of the boots and toss them off to the side. With a swirl of his tongue against Castiel’s naval he pulled down the breeches and briefs all the way off leaving Castiel naked against the prickly hay. 

Castiel looped a finger in Dean’s waistband and pulled him forward so that he could make work on the jeans. Dean helped shuck out of his jeans leaving both men flushed and fully erect in the hay barn. Using a bit of spit and his precome Dean lathered himself up and began sliding his erection against Castiel’s, leaning forward and almost laying on top of the other man to apply more friction. With a blissful sigh Dean closed his eyes and threw his head back as he continued to rock against the writhing rider. 

Castiel’s hands were wrapped tightly around Dean’s biceps, hips thrusting up to meet his. “Dean, I need...

Dean moved his hands behind Castiel’s head and thread his fingers in the man’s dark locks, pulling enough to get a moan. “What do you need?” Dean didn’t wait for an answer before trailing kisses down the rider’s torso until he was just above the head of his penis. Licking his lips he blew on the top of the penis causing it to twitch in excitement. Castiel let out a shrilling gasp with a buck of his hips. “Is this what you want?”

“Dean!” Castiel moaned.

“You know what I’ve said about asking nicely,” Dean purred as he continued to blow on the swollen flesh. 

“Suck me off before I fire you!” Castiel growled. 

Dean’s eyebrows shot up in amusement and surprise. Despite the demands, Castiel was completely at his mercy, and it was a side of him Dean loved to see. “Look at you being pushy.” Repositioning himself he lowered his mouth on to Castiel and began putting his talented tongue to use pulling all sorts of sounds from the man beneath him. Dean knew he was doing well when Castiel’s hands began pushing down on his head. 

When Dean felt that Castiel was getting close he pulled off with a wet pop and slid back into the rider’s lap. Castiel gave a whine of displeasure, but Dean had him changing his tune as he began stroking them off together at a rapid pace. With a cry Castiel came and Dean found himself following not long after. 

Castiel’s labored breaths were mixed with whimpers as Dean shifted to lay next to him in the hay. The sun was barely still poking up over the horizon illuminating the shed only enough for them to make out shapes. Dean rolled onto his side and propped his head up on his knuckles. “You ok?” 

“I’m itchy,” Castiel responded. 

Dean laughed, “Then put your clothes back on and get out of the hay.” It _was_ rather itchy on his skin. He too began to dress and regretted not bringing a towel to wipe themselves off with. Being a man of sacrifice, he allowed Castiel his shirt to clean himself up. The rider had a lot more to lose being questioned than he did. Chuck was more than likely not to notice, anyway. Dean leaned against the opening of the shed to watch the final moments of the sunset while Castiel pulled at his boots. “We should go on a date.” 

“Is that not what we did when I took you to dinner?” Castiel asked as he shoved his heel down into his boot and made his way next to Dean. 

“Well, sorta,” Dean shrugged, “but I mean let’s just take the day and go somewhere and do something nice.” 

“Dean, I have horses to ride-,” 

“Come on, Cas!” Dean groaned, “They need a day off, and so do you.” 

Reluctantly, Castiel inquired, “What do you propose we do?” 

“Well, I’m glad you asked,” he wiggled his eyebrows. “There’s an old-style drive-in theater not too far from town I passed by one day.” 

“I have not seen a movie in a very long time,” Castiel admitted. “I would...like that very much.” 

Dean smiled as he planted one last kiss for the night on his lips. “It’s a date.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story is back! Sorry for the shortness of it. I'm feeling very upset at the moment and spent the better part of the last hour crying, but I promised to get the chapter out tonight. It looks like I will be dropping out of DCBB even though I completed the fic. I'm just very unhappy with the artist situation, and I feel like the only way I will be happy is if I just do it myself which is against the DCBB rules.

Something wasn’t right. Dean hadn’t been able to fall asleep since he lay down in his bed over four hours ago. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary in their loft. Chuck was passed out in the bed next to him and the silence would normally be calming, but there was an itch at the back of Dean’s mind he could not scratch. Turning over again with a frustrated sigh he decided he had had enough. Throwing off the covers he pulled on his jeans, not even bothering to button them, and carelessly threw on a shirt and boots. With bloodshot eyes he slowly descended the stairs that led to the barn. If he couldn’t find sleep, he might as well make himself useful cleaning tack or something else. 

The horses were restless. There were agitated snorts and the sounds of consistent pacing. Frowning, Dean began fumbling to try and find the light switches. As soon as the lights flickered on there was a loud pounding noise against the wood. “Fuck, Lucifer! I swear to God-,” but Lucifer was standing at attention in his stall, ears pricked forward and alert towards Inias’s stall. Rubbing at his eyes to get them to adjust he stumbled over towards the gelding’s stall. There was another loud pound and heavy groans from the horse’s stall. Dean was suddenly wide awake. Inias was pawing angrily at the ground and biting at his stomach between groans, his body stretched out the length of the stall. 

“Shit!” Dean was sprinting towards the stairs, taking them two at a time as he made back to the loft. The man didn’t even bother turning on the lights as he reached for Chuck in the bed and threw off the covers. “Chuck! Get up!”

“Huh!? What!?” Chuck snapped up in the bed in shock.

“Inias is colicing!” Dean yelled in urgency. “Call the vet and get Castiel down here, now!” Chuck was instantly out of the bed and reaching for items of clothing from his drawers. Dean scrambled back down the stairs, tripping over his unlaced boots a few times in the process. Swinging the door to the tack room open he headed for the fridge and fumbled through the medications until he found the one he was looking for. Grabbing a syringe from the cabinet he drew out 10 cc of the liquid and slammed the fridge door shut, dashing back to the moaning gelding. “Easy, buddy, easy,” Dean whispered as he ran his fingers along the horse’s neck to find the vein. Pulling off the cap with his mouth he lined up the needled and carefully found his way into the vein, injecting the fluid. 

Haphazardly he chucked the needle and syringe and grabbed Inias’s halter from the stall door, quickly fastening it around the gelding’s head. He had to keep him moving. “Come on, Inias, you’ve got to move.” Dean tugged with all his might, but the gelding stood firm and motionless. Using the end of the leadline as a whip he flung it at the gelding and he lunged forward with momentum Dean used to get him walking. 

“Rachel is on her way,” Chuck panted as he finally made it down the stairs, “but it’ll take her twenty minutes to get here. Castiel should be here any minute.”

“I gave him 10 cc of banamine, but I’m worried it was too damn late. He wants to go down,” Dean could feel the horse at the other end brace against him as they walked down the aisle. 

“INIAS!” Castiel cried as ran into the barn, Anna and her husband trailing behind. His face was pale as he came to a halt, eyes blown wide in shock.

Inias was tugging at Dean’s arm even harder as he tried to keep him walking up and down the barn aisle. “Get me a whip!” There was silence, everyone staring in shock. “God dammit, somebody get me a whip!” Chuck scrambled to find a Dressage whip and handed it to Dean as he walked the gelding by. Dean gave one good smack to the horse’s flank and Inias was up and moving. It was a good sign. Dean would never forget the horse he had to repeatedly hit in attempt to keep him up, but the horse was too far gone and eventually succumbed to the colic before the vet could arrive. With all his might he prayed Inias did not hold the same fate. 

Castiel, Anna, and her husband kept their distance to allow Dean to work, Anna cradling her crying brother in her arms. Chuck helped keep Inias moving when he tried to go down. When the lights of Rachel’s truck finally came in to view, there was an overwhelming sigh of relief. 

Rachel hurried out of her truck, a large bucket with a tube in hand. “How is he?” She asked, approaching Dean.

Dean brought Inias to a halt in front of her as the vet instantly began working the horse over. “Gums look a little better, but are still pretty white. I still don’t hear any guttural noises. He’s at least walking without much issue, now. At first I had to use the whip to keep him up.”

“You give him banamine?” She asked as she put her ear to the horse’s stomach. 

Dean nodded, “As soon as I realized what was happening I gave it IV.”

Rachel gave the horse a pat. “You saved his life, getting to him with the banamine when you did. I can hear a faint noise on the right side, but let’s go ahead and pump his stomach. Has he passed any stool at all?”

Dean shook his head, “Not since I’ve been with him.”

“I’ll check for impaction, too,” She began putting on gloves and pulling out a long tube. “You seen this done before?”

Dean gave a snort, “More than I would have cared to. I know what to expect.” He grabbed hold of Inias’s halter to secure his head for the vet. 

Rachel lubed up the tube and began slowly working it into the horse’s mouth and down his throat. Inias was too exhausted to fight back, Dean practically holding his head up to allow the vet to continue leading it down towards the stomach. With the tube set, Rachel held up the other end to her mouth and began inhaling to create suction. When the fluids started making their way up the tube, Rachel let the open end fall to the bucket. 

The smell was putrid. Dean wiggled his nose in disgust. Some things never did seem to change. It was definitely as bad as he remembered it. Trying to keep his mind off of it he asked, “No grain tomorrow. We’ve got some alfalfa hay. You want us to feed that?”

Rachel gave a nod, “Yeah that would be great. No more than a flake in the morning and afternoon. If he’s had good bowel movements throughout the day you give him a little grain in the evening, but I wouldn’t put him back on his full feeding for a few days.”

“So, he’s going to be ok? No surgery?” Anna asked with a calm voice, but her hand was fidgeting with the button of her coat. 

“He’s extremely lucky,” Rachel started, “If this hadn’t been caught until the morning, I don’t even think surgery could have saved him. How did you guys know he was colicing?”

Dean gave an uncomfortable cough, “Um, I don’t know. I guess somehow I knew something wasn’t right. I couldn’t sleep so I came down to the barn to find something to do. That’s when I noticed it.” Dean really knew all too well how lucky they had been. Catch colic as soon as it starts and more than likely a vet isn’t even required to come out but catch it too late and there would be no help. 

“Well, I’ll say it again; you saved his life. I think he’ll be fine, but keep an eye on him the next few days. If you notice anything make sure you call me. I’m going to go ahead and give him some DSMO.”

Dean almost puked at the mere mention of the drug. “Do you have to?” DSMO was the absolute worst smell Dean had ever had the misfortune of smelling, and it would stink up the barn for weeks to come.

Rachel laughed, “Sorry. You get used to it after a while.”

“No,” Dean argued, “You really don’t.” Trying to start breathing through his mouth, Dean watched as Rachel finished her work, and then too Inias back to his stall. Chuck had cleared out any traces of food, including the hay for the rest of the night until they were sure it had passed. Inias hung his head low, but the color had at least fully returned to his gums. 

Anna, her husband, and Chuck filed out back to their beds once Rachel packed up and left. Anna had tried to coerce her brother into coming back to the house, but he had refused eyes still red with tears. Opening the stall door Castiel joined Dean in the stall and wrapped his arms around the man. “Thank you. Thank you….there is nothing I could ever say that could be enough.”

“Cas,” Dean sighed, placing a gentle kiss against the man’s forehead, “I was just doing my job.”

“I could have lost him, and I don’t think I could have taken it,” he squeezed Dean hard before taking a step back and wiping at his eyes. “I don’t want to leave him tonight.”

“He won’t be alone, Cas, I promise I’ll stay with him. You don’t want to stay down here all night. You won’t be able to get the stink out of your skin for months,” he laughed, trying to lighten the mood.

“I don’t care about the smell,” he shook his head, “I want to be here. To wake up and know he’s still ok.”

Dean thought about saying something in protest, but knew it would end up useless. Giving Inias a pat on the back he nodded. “Ok, well, let me at least go pull some blankets and pillows from the loft. Might as well be comfortable if we are going to spend the night.”

Castiel gave a small smile, “Yes, thank you.”

Chuck was already long gone in dreamland when Dean turned on the light to grab extra blankets from the linen closet and the pillows off of his own bed. He set up their little nest right outside of Inias’s stall. “There we go. You ready for lights out?”

Castiel was reluctant, but gave a nod as he stroked his hand down Inias’s face. “I suppose.” He kicked off his boots and settled underneath the blankets next to Dean, burying his face in the man’s chest. “Good night, Dean.”

Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel and breathed in his sweet scent. “Sweet dreams, Cas.”

/*/

Castiel did not work Inias for several days after the incident, and the gelding was improving every day. Dean had fed him his full amount of grain that morning and Inias had gobbled it up happily. It was almost scary to say, but Dean was sort of thankful Inias had coliced. Castiel had been treating Inias with much more care, but now he was doing the same with all of the horses. Even his relationship with Lucifer was improving. Castiel had been shown the cruel reality of how fragile the animals really were. 

“I don’t know if I should still show Inias next weekend,” Castiel frowned as he dismounted Gabriel and handed Dean the reigns.

“Cas,” Dean began as he followed in behind the rider, “I promise you he is fine. He was ok to ride two days ago, I promise you. If I didn’t know better, I’d think he was itching for you to hop on him and have him work. He’s getting bored cooped up in the stall.”

“I know,” Castiel admitted with a frown, “but I’m just…,” there was a heavy sigh. “I’m over analyzing this, aren’t I?”

“Uh, a bit,” Dean nodded with a sly grin. “Why don’t I saddle him up for an easy dressage ride? Nothing too difficult, but just so he can show you that he is ready to go.”

Castiel frowned, biting slightly at his lip as the thought about it, before finally giving in. “Very well.”

“Awesome.” Dean made quick work of untacking Gabriel and cooling him out, itching to see Castiel take Inias out. Inias was not the calm and quiet gelding he usually was. The entire time Dean was grooming him he was moving about in anticipation, not standing still for more than a few seconds at a time. When Dean put the bit up to his mouth, he practically chomped down on it in excitement. 

“Hm,” Castiel’s eyes narrowed in a squint, “Perhaps you were right. He seems…anxious.”

“Yeah, you think?” Dean replied sarcastically as he yanked on the reigns with annoyance. “Ok, seriously, dude, that’s enough.”

Castiel was able to give the gelding a complete workout. He had a huge spring to his step and he floated across the arena as Castiel asked him to extend his trot across the diagonal. Dean would have easily one as far to say that it was the best he had ever seen him. Maybe the few extra days off had rejuvenated him. When Castiel dismounted, there was a grin plastered on his face that made Dean feel lighter. “He looked good.”

“He felt incredible. You were right,” Castiel responded as he removed his helmet.

“I’m always right, Cas,” Dean responded with a wiggle of his eyebrows. “You’d do well to remember that.”

Castiel raised a questioning eyebrow. “Is that so? I thought you were the one who worked under me?”

“Technicalities, technicalities, Cas,” Dean waved him off. He settled Inias into the crossties, the gelding having worked off enough energy that he stood still. 

“You know, I was thinking,” Castiel began nervously, his hands rubbing his upper arms.

“That so?” Dean asked as he fiddled with the saddle.

“Anna, her husband, and Chuck will all be gone this weekend at a show,” Castiel mentioned.

“Uh-huh. They’re going to Maryland, yeah I know,” Dean nodded.

“Yes. For four days. I was…,” Castiel cleared his throat and stared at the floor of the aisle. “I was wondering if you wanted to spend the weekend with me. At the house.”

Dean’s eyes shot up to Castiel in surprise. “You asking me to come home with you, Cas? Well, well, you dog.”

“I am not a dog, Dean,” Castiel huffed. “I was being serious.”

Dean threw his head back and laughed. “Jesus, Cas, we really do need to get you out more. I know you were being serious, and I’d love to spend the weekend with you. I’d love to have a full kitchen to cook with actually.”

“You cook?” Castiel asked curiously.

“Sure do,” he responded.

“Good, because I cannot. Anna is always the one to make the meals at the house,” he said as he took a seat and began wiping off his tall boots with a rag. 

Dean leaned down as he walked by and placed a kiss on the man’s lips. “What would you do without me?”

“Have to order take out every night,” he responded with a smile. “I’d also have no one to clean my tack that needs cleaning tonight.”

Dean shot him a glare from the other side of Inias, “You sure do know how to kill the mood.”

/*/

Castiel and Dean had bid Anna farewell Thursday morning, and both men pitched in to help Bobby feed and clean that morning. Dean and Castiel were eager to get their work for the day done so that they could relax back at the house. Dean had never actually seen the inside of Castiel’s home, and it was far better than he could have imagined. The kitchen was huge with several ovens that he could not wait to make use of. 

“I am so making pie,” Dean groaned in excitement as he moved around the kitchen. 

“As wonderful as that sounds, perhaps we should wait for that until after dinner,” Castiel responded, reaching into the fridge for a bottle of water. 

“You’re no fun,” Dean frowned. “Fine, what is it you want for lunch?”

“I’m not too picky. Whatever we have you are welcome to,” he responded as he took a seat at the bar and opened up his laptop. 

Dean made mental note of the hamburger patties in the freezer for dinner, but decided on chicken wraps. Sam the health nut used to love them whenever Dean made them for him, and even Dean had to grown to like them with the right seasoning and sauces. It seemed like something Castiel would like. In the end, he had to make more than he originally planned because Castiel had enjoyed them so much. While Dean was cleaning the dishes, Castiel interrupted him taking his hand.

“Dean,” Castiel began, his eyes locked onto Dean’s. “Let’s go to bed.”

Dean shot the man a quizzical look. “Uh, Cas, it’s 2 o’clock in the afternoon.”

“I know.” 

Dean was about to ask him if he had hit his head sometime during the morning, when it suddenly dawned on him what Castiel meant. “Oh. Oh. Yeah,” he cleared his throat, “We should definitely go to bed.”

Castiel laced his fingers in Dean’s and began dragging him away to the bedroom.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This time....a real Chapter. I had a rough past few days, but I have a lot of support, and even though I've had a lot of hatred, I will finish FHWW and I will post Call to the Post in it's entirety despite the fact that someone else wrote almost the exact same thing for their DCBB....surely there will be enough differences everyone can enjoy both stories. 
> 
> I cannot thank all of you enought.
> 
> Art of the end of the chapter is by sharysisnhmoonshadow

Castiel was on edge beneath Dean, but with every touch of his fingertips to bare skin a small bit of tension was relieved from the rider. Dean was wedged in between Castiel’s legs, running his hands up and down his thighs over soft dark hairs. Keeping the kisses constant he allowed Castiel the time he needed to grow completely relaxed and comfortable beneath him, slowly beginning to rock their hips together. Castiel let out a soft gasp as their members slid against one another, the man grasping at Dean, arms around his broad chest.

As Castiel grew more comfortable he started exploring Dean’s skin and hooking his legs around so that his heels were digging into Dean’s cheeks in encouragement. Dean curled his fingers into Castiel’s dark hair and deepened their kisses as he reached down between them with his free hand and began stroking their members together. Castiel let his head sink into the pillow as he whimpered beneath Dean’s touches.

“Dean, please,” he breathed as he bucked up into Dean’s hand.

“What do you want, Cas?” Dean asked as he leaned in close.

“I-,” Castiel swallowed hard, his cheeks flushing an even deeper red than they had been. “I want you inside me.”

Dean could feel his dick twitching in excitement, and he gave it a hard squeeze to calm it down. “You sure you are ready?”

Castiel was swift to give a nod of his head. “Yes. I want it.”

Smiling Dean leaned in and gave a soothing kiss to his swollen and red lips. “I need lube and a condom.”

“Um,” Castiel scrambled a hand underneath the pillow he was laying on and pulled out a bottle of lube, blushing furiously. “I don’t have any condoms. I didn’t…think about that.” With a frustrated and disappointed sigh Dean began to move off of Castiel, but the rider frantically reached out and stopped him. “I’m clean.”

“Well, obviously,” Dean huffed with a smile. “I’m clean, Cas, but I don’t know-,”

“Dean, please. If I don’t do this now I may not have the courage to try again later,” Castiel pleaded.

Dean knew he should say no. His brain was screaming at him to call it off and wait until they had the proper tools, but when Castiel reached out and tugged at his cock hard enough to bring Dean forward, he gave in. Their tongues danced and their hips ground against each other until Dean felt it was getting him off too soon. Pulling away from Castiel he reached for the lube and poured a generous amount onto his fingers. Experimentally he circled one around Castiel’s hole, the pink pucker immediately clenching against his touch as its owner gasped.

“You have to relax, Cas,” Dean said as he continued to trace the hole with his finger, getting it used to his touch. When he finally felt the muscle relax he slid his index finger in. Castiel groaned, a twitch of pain in his face before it melted away with each thrust. Soft whimpers escaped his lips each time Dean crooked his finger just right, massaging the inner walls. Adding a second finger Dean continued to stretch the man out beneath him, occasionally giving Castiel’s reddened member a tug. It was the longest amount of time Dean had ever spent prepping someone, but after a solid three fingers had spread Castiel wide he began lubing up his own cock, hand dripping with extra lube to be safe. Spreading Castiel’s legs wide he lined up and began breaching Castiel’s entrance at an excruciatingly slow pace, his hole gaping wide to accommodate his thick member.

Castiel hissed and braced his hands against Dean’s thighs. “Easy, Cas,” Dean whispered as he reached for Castiel’s cock and began stroking it to distract the man from the initial entry. Castiel was tight, and warm, and perfect as Dean finally slid home. “Fuck, Cas…” Sucking in a breath he reached for Castiel’s mouth once again and slowly began rocking in and out. Castiel breathed heavy moans into his mouth, encouraging Dean when he found the right spots with his thrusts. “You like that, Cas?”

“Dean,” he gasped, “I want more.”

Eyes blowing wide with lust Dean shifted Castiel so that his ass was further in the air and pushed Castiel’s knees towards his chest. Pulling almost all the way out he snapped back in, Castiel grasping at the sheets in shocked pleasure. Dean continued the rough but slow pace, stroking Castiel’s member and spreading the pre-come at the head.

“Dean, I’m gonna -, Ah!” With a strangled cry Castiel was shooting white onto Dean’s fist and his stomach, gripping the sheets so tightly he was sure they would rip.

Dean worked Castiel till the last drop and rubbed the rider’s come into his chest, leaving only the spurts in his dark pubic hair untouched. Folding Castiel in half he set a brutal pace, letting the whines of pleasure beneath him drive him all the way home until his cock was twitching with its release deep within Castiel. Dean grunted in pleasure, biting at his lip to keep himself from screaming out. He was panting heavily as slowly slid out of Castiel. The man looked completely debauched with his hair sticking in all angles, lips red and swollen, and come already dropping out of Castiel’s red and puffy hole.

“Was,” Castiel gasped, trying to catch his breath, “Was I ok?”

“Fuck, Cas,” Dean sighed in contentment as he settled in next to Castiel on the bed, “You were amazing.”

Their harsh pants were the only sounds in the room until Castiel shifted so that he was facing Dean and placed a palm on his chest. “Thank you.”

Dean snorted an amusement, “I feel like I should be saying the same thing. I think I could get used to doing this.”

“We have three more days,” Castiel mentioned, “I think we could get used to it by then. After that, I know of a particularly good hay stack.”

Dean laughed and wrapped his arms around Castiel, placing a kiss to his neck. “So, what, you want to just stay in bed all weekend?”

“Sounds fine by me,” Castiel hummed into his skin. “And I think you would agree,” he mused as he flicked a few fingers towards his groin causing it to tremble with pleasure, already beginning to fill.

With a grown Dean rolled them so that Castiel was pinned beneath him, and they started in on round two.

/*/

Monday morning came far too quickly for the two of them. Dean woke up in Castiel’s enormous bed knowing it would be the last time he did so until the next show that took Anna and everyone else away from the farm. His body ached pleasantly from the sex marathon, and he stretched himself beneath the covers before deciding to get coffee started for when Castiel awoke. Throwing on a grey shirt and boxers he paddled into the kitchen, rubbing at his eyes. When the smell of coffee filled his nose he came to a halt.

“Funny. I didn’t know you lived here, now,” Anna’s cool voice spoke from the kitchen bar.

Dean’s eyes grew wide and his body went cold. “Shit. Shit – Anna. I – I thought you weren’t coming back until tonight.”

“Hm,” she took a sip of her coffee and flipped the page of a newspaper, “That was the original plan. The show was very well run and ran ahead of schedule. We decided to drive on home so that we could sleep in our own beds. You know what was really amazing though,” she looked up so that she was staring straight at Dean, “When Chuck went to go put some things away in the loft before helping with the horses, he said you weren’t there. The Impala was outside the barn, though. Castiel hates being in this house by himself, so I thought maybe he invited you to stay in one of the guests rooms, but I checked. They were all empty. That leaves one room you could have been in.”

Dean felt himself begin to panic at the obvious – and true – accusation that was being thrown his way. “Anna , I –,”

“Dean, is that coffee?” Castiel asked, his voice hoarse from sleep. After a few rapid blinks of his blue eyes he noticed Anna and his skin grew pale. He turned on his heel to run back the other direction, but his sister’s stern voice stopped him.

“Castiel. Don’t you dare.”

Castiel was trembling as he turned back around and huddled in close towards Dean. He said nothing.

Dean felt his fear growing into anger. He and Castiel were grown ass men. Why was it her business what they did? “Anna-,”

“I’m not in the least bit surprised that this has happened, to be honest,” she started, folding up the newspaper and pushing it aside. “The way Castiel would always cry over you when you threatened to leave. But I never thought you would corral him into it being for the sex.”

Dean gave the red-head a scowl, “Now hold on just a damn minute!”

“It’s not like that!” Castiel spoke from next to him, his hand clinging to Dean’s wrist. “I care for Dean! We’ve even gone on dates like normal couples!”

“Normal couples? So you’ve told him, then?” Castiel’s face told her all she needed to know. With a sigh she let herself give him a sympathetic glance, “Castiel, baby brother, I love you so much, but you have to see that this can’t work. Relationships are about being completely honest with your partner. I cannot support this if you refuse to be open with Dean about your condition.”

Dean’s eyes shot to Castiel. “Cas? Condition? What’s she talking about?”

“I can’t tell him,” Castiel shook his head, tears stinging at his eyes. “He’ll leave.”

“Then he doesn’t deserve you,” Anna retorted.

Leave him? Was Castiel sick? “Cas, tell me what the hell she’s talking about.”

Castiel had long ago let go of Dean’s wrist, and instead had his arms wrapped around himself. He was crying, refusing to look Dean in the eye.

“Cas!”

Castiel flinched at Dean’s shout, more tears falling, before with a shaking breath he spoke, “Go get the Impala. We have an appointment to go to.”

Dean didn’t know what he expected Castiel to direct him to. The fact that it wasn’t a hospital was at least somewhat comforting as he pulled into the parking lot of a small brick building. The only sign read “Dr. Pamela Barnes” and had Dean worrying again. Castiel refused to speak the entire drive other than to point out when to turn. When they entered the building, Dean knew exactly just what kind of doctor Castiel had been seeing. He had seen it all too often after his mom died, when he had refused to speak for years. Every psychiatrist had the same kind of set up: plush leather chairs, dim lighting, and dark wood. It was depressing.

“Good morning, Castiel,” the receptionist smiled. “I’ll let Dr. Barnes know you are here.”

Castiel gave a nod and slowly made his way towards one of the chairs outside the door to what Dean assumed was Dr. Barnes’s office. There was some relief that washed over Dean, knowing that Castiel wasn’t sick. Physically, at least. Dean shouldn’t be shocked that Castiel had some mental issue, the way he acted sometimes. Still, it worried him why Anna had been so insistent on his knowing.

The door swung open and a tall woman with dark hair beamed at them. “Castiel? Who is your friend?”

 

“This…this is Dean,” Castiel answered as he pushed himself to his feat and began heading towards the office.

Dr. Barnes’s beamed. “Dean! Oh, my, your descriptions certainly don’t do him justice.”

“I want him with me,” Castiel spoke. “I….I have to tell him, but I don’t know how.”

The doctor’s smile dropped and she turned serious. “Sure thing. Well, come on in sweet cheeks.” With uncertainty Dean filed into the room and took a seat next to Castiel on the loveseat across from the single chair Dr. Barnes sat in. The doctor crossed her legs and sat her notepad in her lap, pen at the ready. She leaned back and offered up a smile. “So. Castiel. Can I ask why you’ve decided to finally tell Dean about your condition?”

Castiel stared at the floor as he answered, “Anna found out about us. She said it wasn’t a real relationship if I couldn’t be honest.”

“Well, she’s right. Relationships are built on trust and honesty. Dean, has Castiel told you anything?”

Dean shrugged, “I didn’t know he was seeing a psychiatrist, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Does it bother you? Without knowing the full details, that he is seeing a psychiatrist?” Dr. Barnes asked.

Dean gave a snort, “I’d be one hell of a hypocrite if I said it did.”

That caused the doctor to perk up in interest. “Oh? You’ve had experience with psychiatry before?”

Dean noticed Castiel’s gaze on him, and cleared his throat hesitantly. “When my mom died in a fire, I refused to speak. My dad tried every psychiatrist in the state, and I refused to utter a single word for four years.”

“So what changed?”

Jesus, when the hell did this suddenly turn into a session about him? Sucking in a breath he responded, “My dad killed himself and left me and my brother completely on our own. I was old enough to fend for myself, but my brother…Someone had to look out for him.” Swallowing Dean turned his gaze to Castiel. “I guess you weren’t the only one not being completely honest.”

Castiel shook his head. “It’s different. You got over it. I’m,” he bit at his lip, trying to keep himself together, “I’ll never get better.”

“Nonsense, Castiel,” Dr. Barnes objected, “You’ve come so far.”

Feeling frustrated, Dean came right out and asked, “Will one of you just tell me what this is all about? Why is this so important it’s got Anna’s panties in a damn twist?”

Dr. Barnes looked to Castiel to answer. “Castiel?”

 

Castiel curled himself into a ball, “I can’t!”

“Cas,” Dean pulled at the rider’s hand, “Whatever it is, I’m not going to leave you for it. What is it? Depression? Split personalities?” Hell, that last one would be absolutely no news to Dean.

“I have separation anxiety!” Castiel blurted out through hot tears.

Dean sat there for a moment in the silence, processing what Castiel had just said, before a warm smile crept up on his lips. “Is that it? You just don’t like being alone?”

“You don’t understand,” Castiel snapped, “It took over half my life to be able to handle Anna going to the grocery store without me! You’ll get angry with me when you want to be alone and I can’t handle it. I’ll drive you away!”

“Cas,”

“We should just stop now.”

“Cas!” Dean took Castiel’s face in his hands and forced the man to look at him. “I don’t think I could go anywhere without you if I tried. Twice I’ve tried to leave you, and I never once made it further than a few hundred feet. What the hell makes you think that’s going to change?”

Dean felt the tears hit his hands, but he did not let them move. Castiel gave a slow blink and then responded, “Because I’m mean when I don’t mean to be, and you deserve who treats you better.”

“Hey,” Dean wiped away a tear with his thumb. “Why don’t you let me be the judge of what I deserve and don’t, huh?” Everything was beginning to come together. The way Castiel acted all the time, his ups and downs. It all made perfect sense. “I don’t care, Cas. I really think we need to give this a try.”

“Dean, I am very happy that you are understanding,” Dr. Barnes began, “But I do need to make sure you fully understand what will happen if you two continue on with this relationship. As of now, you aren’t living with one another and are still in the early stages of your relationship. As things get more serious, Castiel will grow more attached and you will not have the freedoms you once had. It has taken a very long time to get him to separate somewhat from Anna. I think that if we all work together and start early, we might be able to help limit this, but it will still come with limitations.”

“I don’t care,” Dean insisted, feeling more strongly about this than he had about anything else in his life. “I want to make this work.”

Dr. Barnes smiled, “Well, ok then.”

/*/

Dean sat on the lush grass, his back against the hay bale that was in the middle of the pasture. Castiel was in between his legs, curled up against his chest as they watched the sunset. Lucifer was munching down happily around them, content.

“I feel better, that you know,” Castiel said as Lucifer stuck his nose out begging for the man to pay him attention. The rider reached out a hand and let his fingers graze across the velvety skin.

“We’re going to be ok, Cas. We’re going to get you winning competitions with Inias, and we’re going to go all the way to the top, together,” Dean responded.

“Hmm…Valley Ridge is next weekend.  I like their facility. Maybe I’ll finally do well.”

Dean leaned in and gave the rider a kiss on the cheek, “You’re going to be awesome, Cas. I promise.”

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, GO READ MY FIC CALL TO THE POST :D It's my ex-DCBB!!! Unfortunately, I wasn't able to do as much art as I wanted with a lot of unexpected things going on, but I don't regret my decision to drop out and I'm so incredibly happy with the way the fic turned out. If you love FHWW, you will love Call to the Post. Secondly....this is gonna hurt.

Per Dr. Barnes’s suggestions, Castiel and Dean did not continue to share a bed on a regular basis. Dean knew why the doctor had recommended it, even though it was hard to swallow. He knew when it came to horse shows, they’d probably cheat. In fact, when he stepped foot into the hotel for their current horse show and saw the single bed, he knew they’d cheat.

“Cas,” Dean sighed as he put down his bag next to the bed. “You know what Dr. Barnes said.”

“I do,” He agreed. “She said we shouldn’t share a bed all the time. This isn’t all the time, Dean.” Castiel did not miss the face Dean was giving him. Licking his lips he took a seat at the edge of the mattress and folded his hands. “I know she’s scared I’ll get too attached too quickly, but Dean…Every night I lie in bed thinking the reason you aren’t there is because you don’t want to be and –“

“Hey,” Dean was next to him instantly, taking the rider’s hands in his. “That’s not true, and you know it.”

Castiel nibbled at his bottom lip in thought, eyes squinting in a familiar fashion, before responding with a hesitant nod. “Yes. But this weekend…you’ll stay with me?”

Dean gave him a warm smile and brought their foreheads together. “Tell you what. I’ll make you a deal. You win this weekend – on Inias – and I’ll stay with you all next week.”

“That is quite the incentive to win,” Castiel hummed. “I accept this deal.”

Dean placed a kiss on Castiel’s soft lips. “Good. Now get ready for bed. You have to be ready to kick ass tomorrow.”

Castiel’s brow creased in a frown. “I do not need you making demands of me, Dean Winchester. I will go to bed when I please.”

“Well, excuse me,” Dean huffed as he shrugged out of his over-shirt and fell back onto the mattress with a plop, the force so great it gave Castiel a moment of airtime. “What is it the boss-man wants to do, then?”

Castiel let himself fall back next to Dean. “I think I’d like to have sex.”

Dean chuckled. “That’s a great idea, Cas, but somehow I think you might regret it in the morning when you get in the saddle.”

Castiel frowned in confusion for a moment before it dawned on him what Dean was referring to. “Oh. I suppose that’s true. I should top, then.”

Dean eyes grew wide in quick hesitation, “Ah, how about we just settle for some blow jobs?”

“That would be acceptable,” Castiel responded as he rolled on top of Dean and shoved his hands down the man’s jeans.

 

/*/

Dean had never seen Castiel ride like he did that weekend. There was never an uncertainty in his steps, and there was none of the fear and hesitation. It was as if Castiel wasn’t even thinking about riding at all – his eyes almost glazed over in a daydream as he rode.  Gabriel had thrown several fusses, but it was not because Castiel was nervous. In fact, Dean had been impressed with how cool Castiel remained when the gelding began tossing his head in annoyance in the ring. As for Inias, it had been a perfect ride.

Dean took his eyes off of the road just long enough to see Castiel running his fingers over the blue ribbon fondly. “You were awesome, Cas.”

Castiel gave a small smile, “I do hope there are many more of these to come.”

“Of course there will be. In fact, there will be so many you are going to run out of room,” Dean assured him.

“If I can win in two weeks at Cedar Creek I will qualify for the area championships. I didn’t qualify last year,” he spoke somberly; “It would be nice to make it this year. Charlie said Gilda qualified with her second-place this weekend.”

“Hey,” Dean reached over and grabbed for Castiel’s hand. “You’ll make it.”

“I’ve always wanted to be able to move Inias up to four-star. It’s always been my dream to compete in the Rolex, but -,” Castiel sighed. “I shouldn’t think so far ahead. This was only one competition. I have not been consistent.”

“If that’s what you want, Cas, fight for it.”

Castiel continued to mess with the ribbon in his lap, deep in thought. “What is it you fight, for Dean? You told me you don’t care to ride again or train. So what is it you really want? What keeps you going?”

“Family.” Dean said simply. “Family is what keeps me going. Sammy is all I’ve got, and I’m going to do whatever it takes to make sure he can live the life he wants.”

Castiel sucked in a breath. “Dean, if you need more-“

“Don’t!” Dean hissed angrily. “Don’t you dare offer to pay for anything, alright? I earn what I make, you got that?”

Castiel frowned, lips drawing into a thin line in frustration. “You are stubborn, Dean Winchester. Why won’t you let me help you?”

“Hey, I asked you the same damn thing for months,” he argued back.

“But I gave in,” Castiel rebounded.

Dean adjusted his grip on the steering wheel. “You can help in other ways, Cas, ok? Just, not this. Paying for Sam’s school is something I need to do, alright? I need you to understand that.”

“I don’t understand it, Dean, but if that is what you wish, I won’t bring up the subject again,” Castiel spoke, clenching his jaw and turning his gaze away from Dean.

There was silence, Dean licking at his lips in agitated thoughts. “You don’t have to pay me to keep me here anymore, Cas. Is that why you offered?” There was no response. “Look, man, I know you don’t have the money, even if you say you do. It’s why Michael is on yours and Anna’s asses so much.”

“Did Anna tell you that?” Castiel frowned irritably.

“Anna, and Bobby, and Chuck,” Dean said.

“And what if I can’t pay you anymore, Dean?” Castiel questioned, his grip on the ribbon crinkling it. “Would you leave to pursue a job in which would provide you more? Would you leave me?” Castiel was shaking, his skin turning pale with fear.

“Stop it, Cas!” Dean chided. His tone was firm, but there was tenderness underneath. “If I have to, I’ll pick up a part-time job at a bar or as a mechanic, but don’t for a second think I’d leave you for money.”

Castiel curled in on himself in shame. “I’m sorry, I know that, I just – This is why I can’t be in a relationship. I’m afraid of everything taking you away from me.”

“Well ‘everything’ is going to have to drag me away screaming and kicking if it thinks it’s going to manage that,” Dean promised.

Castiel did not respond, and Dean made no further attempts to strike up conversation on the drive home. Anna greeted them with huge smiles and a full cooked meal while Chuck and Bobby helped unload the trailer, the woman insisting Dean and Castiel rest while they did the work. Anna had later apologized to Dean for her initial reaction and had been rather supportive since seeing the positive changes in Castiel.

“So, how did Crowley take it when he didn’t even place this weekend?” Anna asked as she took a seat at the table.

“He was nowhere to be seen after his abysmal jumping round,” Dean grinned as he dug into the heaping pile of mashed potatoes in front of him.

“It was satisfactory, to say the least,” Castiel added happily.

“I’m so happy for you, Castiel,” Anna beamed. “Things are really looking up! I even got notice from the Olympic Committee that they are going to be attending next month’s competition in Maryland. They are really impressed with Uriel.”

“Anna, that’s wonderful!” Castiel spoke with wide eyes.

“That’s awesome!” Dean agreed. “Now if we can just get Cas into the Rolex next year, we’ll all be set.”

“Castiel is more than ready to ride in the Rolex,” Anna scoffed, “He just doesn’t think so. Tell him he is, Dean.”

“Uh,” Dean hesitated, unsure if he should get in the middle of the sudden sibling debate.

Castiel glared across the table at his sister, “Don’t answer that, Dean. I’ll enter the Rolex if and when I feel like it.”

Anna rolled her eyes, “Honestly, Castiel, Inias would destroy the competition, especially after that score you got on dressage this weekend! I mean the judge’s remarks were impeccable.”

Dean listened as Anna and Castiel continued to playfully argue with one another on the issue, and he found a content smile creeping up on his face. He couldn’t remember a single job he had taken where he finally felt like he was part of something. It was comfortable, and he was happy. He couldn’t wait to call Sam and tell him everything.

/*/

Castiel and Inias placed 1st at Cedar Creek qualifying them for the AECs held at one of Virginia’s most prestige stables: Oakwood Stables. Castiel had ridden there before and was familiar with the layout, giving him a greater confidence boost. Anna joined them; coaching Castiel during his dressage practices to fine tune his ride for every extra point. This competition had the best of the best, and every tenth of a point would count in the final score. It had paid off, putting Castiel and Inias four full points in the lead after Dressage.

Dean gave Castiel a boost up onto Inias’s back and handed the rider his whip. Both rider and horse alike were decked out in their royal blue cross-country garb. “Go have fun out there, alright? It’s an awesome day to gallop.”

“You are going to do great!” Anna beamed as they headed to the starting gate. “Just remember to really set him up coming into the combination with the ditch. Don’t let him get too forward coming down the hill.”

“Number 12, you’re up next!” The volunteer shouted by the gate as the current rider headed off towards the first fence.

Sucking in a breath Castiel gathered his reigns and nudged Inias up into a trot and then into a canter to warm him up before their run. The volunteer called them over a few minutes later, but Dean stopped them right outside the gate.

“Hey,” he grabbed onto Castiel’s arm and pulled him down so that he could give him a kiss, “See you at the finish line.”

Castiel’s eyes sparkled as they broke away. “Of course.” Holding his head up high he walked Inias into the gate, the gelding become antsy as volunteer began counting down.

“5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Have a good ride!”

Inias launched out of the gate into a steady gallop and they sailed over the first fence. Dean and Anna began making their way to the other end of the course where the finish line was, keeping their eye on Castiel as long as he was in view. They made their way towards the golf cart with the radio feed as the rider ahead of Castiel came across the finish.

 _“Rider 12 is clear through 17,”_ a voice cackled over the radio.

Anna let out a breath she had been holding. “Half way there,” she smiled.

Dean returned her smile and waited for the next confirmation of Castiel and Inias’s success. There was a much longer silence then there normally was between the communications, and suddenly Dean felt his heart thumping hard against his chest. A short burst of static came from the radio before another fall of silence.

“What’s taking so long?” Anna frowned, wrapping her coat around her torso tighter.

“ _Rider 12 is down at fence 23, I repeat Rider 12 is down at fence 23. Rider is not getting up. Requesting medical assistance to fence 23 immediately.”_

Dean didn’t even know he had started running until he heard Anna screaming his name from behind. Fence 23, fence 23. That was the log with the drop down. Dean charged towards where his memory led him from the morning walk through of the course. People were already gathered in the ditch beneath the drop down. Inias was being held off to the side, tossing his head up and down wildly in panic. Dean assessed the gelding from a far to make sure he was ok before pushing past the several people who made to stop him toward Castiel.

Castiel lay sprawled out at the bottom of the ditch unmoving, eyes closed. Dean heard a wail next to him as Anna caught up and saw the scene. Dean could feel himself stop breathing, the world around him starting to spin. This could not be happening.

“We need to call an ambulance.”

And that’s when Dean’s world came crashing down.

 


	13. Chapter 13

_Inias was relaxed beneath him; his stride was consistent and breathing steady. All Castiel could hear was the rush of wind, but it was a calming sound. There had not been a single question Inias had not answered perfectly on the course so far, and with every step Castiel felt himself growing more confident. Tightening his grip on the reigns he sat up in the saddle to prepare for the approaching combination in front of him. Inias sank back into his haunches with the shift of Castiel’s seat, but with only a few strides left Castiel could feel something was not right._

_Inias did not see the jump._

_Castiel closed his leg and lifted his hands in a last minute effort, but it was too late. Inias tried to save himself by climbing over the leg with his front legs, but the there was no propulsion in the hindquarters to heave him safely over. Castiel’s grip on the gelding’s mane was tight to keep him in the saddle, but he should have allowed himself to fall off. Castiel hit the ground with such a force his vision went white, and then a crushing force was on top of him. There was a blinding pain in his leg and then his vision went black._

/*/

 

Dean had tuned out the various hospital noises hours ago, his focus solely on the empty coffee cup in his hands. They wouldn’t let him see Castiel because he wasn’t family. It wasn’t surprising – Dean had known it – but it didn’t make it hurt any less. He had lost track of how long Anna had been with the doctor.  Dean had no idea the extent of any injuries, just that Castiel had not been conscious when the medics came. Bile rose in throat at the thought of Castiel never being able to ride again.

 

A warm hand was placed on his shoulder. “Hey,” Anna’s voice came out in an exhausted whisper as she took a seat next to Dean.

 

With a sharp intake of breath Dean looked at Anna. Her face was pale and her eyes bloodshot with tears. It caused the pit in Dean’s stomach to grow with worry. “How is he?”

 

Anna licked her lips nervously and closed her eyes to calm herself. “He’ll be ok. Nothing too serious. Doctor thinks the ribs might be bruised and he got a mild-concussion. He had to have hit his head right on the base of the ditch. It cracked his helmet.”

 

“Shit,” Dean hissed as he rubbed his hands across his face. The force in which Castiel had to have hit in order to cause that made him sick.

 

“I don’t know how it happened, but one of Inias’s studs sliced right through his boot to his skin. They had to do stitches, but it won’t do any permanent damage.” Anna brushed a strand of hair behind her ear and placed a hand over Dean’s on his thigh. “What did the vet say about Inias?”

 

Dean gave a shrug. “Fine. There were some scrapes on his knees, but he’s not lame.”

 

Anna let out a sigh of relief. “That’s – that’s good.”

 

“Anna…,” Dean hesitated, wondering if he should bring this up. “What is this going to do to him?”

 

Anna’s eyes began to shimmer with new found tears causing her to look away. “I don’t know. My accident messed him really bad. He hadn’t been the same riding until you. I’m afraid he won’t ever want to get on top of a horse again. Riding is what keeps his anxiety at bay. If he loses that…” Anna covered her mouth as a sob escaped.

 

Dean brought Anna into a hug, letting her cry into his shoulder. “We’ll figure it out, Anna. I got his confidence once, I can do it again.”

 

“Dean, I’m supposed to be in Maryland in two weeks with the Olympic Committee watching. I can’t go while Castiel is like this!” Anna’s tears fell harder and her shoulders slumped in defeat.

 

“Hey,” Dean spoke to get her attention on him again, “Castiel would never forgive either of us if you didn’t go. I’ll take care of him, ok?”

 

Anna was reluctant, but with a nod of her head she gave in. Taking in a shuddered breath she spoke, “I told the doctors and nurses it was fine for you to see him. He’s in-and-out at the moment, but you should still go to him. I need to make some calls.”

 

Dean nodded and rubbed his palms on his jeans before standing. Discarding his empty cup he slowly strode down the hall to the room where Castiel was. Hesitantly he entered, Castiel lying on the bed hooked up to various machines. His eyes were closed. With a swallow Dean whispered, “Cas?” The rider’s eyelids twitched on the bed. “Cas?” He asked again, louder this time.

 

Ever so slowly Castiel’s eyes fluttered open. “Dean…” His voice was even more raspy than normal.

 

“Hey,” Dean smiled as he pulled up a chair next to the bed. Castiel’s fingers twitched out towards him and Dean grabbed for his hand. “How are you feeling?”

 

“Inias?” Castiel asked, ignoring Dean’s question.

 

“He’s fine, Cas. Little banged up, but he’s completely sound.” Dean bit at his lip, the real question of it all lingering on his tongue. “Cas…what happened?”

 

Castiel closed his eyes, trying to block out the memories. “He just…didn’t see the jump. I didn’t realize it until too late. There was no time to make the necessary adjustments. I held on, but in hind-sight I would have been better off coming off over the jump. I…I think he landed on me.”

 

“Christ, Cas,” Dean breathed in disbelief. “Do you know how lucky you are to come away with as little as you did? I was so scared when I saw you lying there, not moving.”

 

Castiel turned his head so that he was staring at the ceiling. “I always feared that what happened to Anna would happen to me. I grew complacent, and I got caught.”

 

“Hey, don’t be like that,” Dean frowned. “This wasn’t your fault. Accidents happen with horses. It’s like you said – Inias didn’t see the jump. That has nothing to do with you.”

 

“It has everything to do with me!” Castiel growled. “I did not ensure I had his attention. I did not set him up for success coming in to that combination. I should not be allowed on the back of a horse.”

 

“Stop it!” Dean snapped, gripping his hand tighter. “You are a great rider, Cas, and I am not going to let this ruin that.”

 

“Yes, because if I don’t ride, you won’t have a job, and you’ll leave.” Castiel pulled his hand away from Dean’s.

 

“Dammit, Cas, not this crap again!”

 

“Everything that Dr. Barnes said would happen is!” Castiel cried, his eyes glazing over with tears. “As soon as I start to become needy, you’ll leave me!”

 

“I never once said I was going to leave you!” Dean argued back.

 

“You didn’t have to!”

 

A nurse appeared in the doorway frowning at the sudden commotion. Dean’s nostrils flared in frustration. “I’m not doing this right now, Cas. We’ll talk when you’re feeling better.” Dean stood up and made for the door, but was stopped just before by Castiel’s voice.

 

“You’re just going to end up leaving like everyone else, so why don’t you?”

 

There were so many things racing through Dean’s brain at that moment. So many things he wanted to snap back at his boss on the hospital bed, but instead he closed his eyes and counted to ten before responding with a simple, “We’ll talk _later_ ,” and walking out. Dean realized he was shaking with anger and quickly made for the exit. A wave of relief crashed over him as he was exposed to the cool Virginia air outside the hospital. He thought he could handle it. When Dr. Barnes had asked him if he was honestly prepared to handle Castiel’s anxiety, he was so certain he was. Now…

 

Now he just didn’t know.

 

/*/

 

The hospital kept Castiel overnight to wake him up every few hours through the first night of the concussion. The next morning they cleared him to go, the bandage on his leg the only visible evidence of the accident. The rider was in a considerable amount of pain between the ribs, leg, and pounding headaches. It took a wheelchair to get him to the truck and he slept through the entirety of the trip back to Golden Gate Farms.

 

Anna and Dean talked in hushed whispers as to not wake Castiel. Anna never breached the subject, but Dean figured she knew what had happened between him and her brother with the way she danced around certain topics during conversation. Despite her offer, Dean rejected going to the house with her and Castiel. Instead he helped Chuck take care of Gabriel and Inias before starting to unload the trailer.

 

“So…you and Cas?” Chuck asked hesitantly as they worked on cleaning tack.

 

“What about me and Cas?” Dean asked nonchalantly as he dipped his rag in more oil for the saddle.

 

“I mean…I guess I just figured you’d be with him. Are you two ok?”

 

With a sigh Dean put down the rag and buried his face in his hand, not caring that they were covered in oil and leather cleaner. “I’m in way over my head with him, Chuck.”

 

“Don’t say that,” Chuck said sadly. “Even without his anxiety, he’s a hard person to deal with, I know, but he says stuff he doesn’t mean sometimes because of it. Whatever he said –“

 

“He’s said a million times before, and I’m getting tired of him telling me to leave, Chuck. It’s making it hard for me to believe he doesn’t mean it.” Dean rubbed his face hard before picking up the rag again, feeling defeated.

 

“I’m not saying it’ll be easy,” he gave a snort, “nothing with him ever is. But what I am saying is it’ll be worth it in the end. Castiel is loyal to a fault, even if he doesn’t seem to show it.”

 

“I’m just tired of fighting, Chuck.”

 

“So don’t fight with him. The both of you are too damn stubborn for your own good, you know?” Chuck responded, getting the most riled up that Dean had ever seen the groom.

 

“Geez, Chuck, why don’t you just tell me how you really feel?” Dean rolled his eyes.

 

“Ok, yeah, I will!” He said confidently as he stood. “I think that the two of you have your heads so stuck up your asses trying to out-do one another that you can’t just love each other for who you are.”

 

“What!? That’s not –“

 

“Yes, it is!” Chuck snapped. “You keep trying to prove that you are worthy of being his groom by showing him all these things you know as a trainer, and he tries to prove to you that his way will work better. Neither of you mean to do it, but you do! You know what, Dean? Someone has to be the big man in this relationship, and that means just sometimes taking the blow and saying ‘Yes, Dear’. You know?” Chuck sucked in a breath, heaving expelled it all during his rant. “Wow! Man…”

 

Dean gave him a very questioning look. “Dude. Are you and Becky having issues?”

Chuck started to say no, but then let his shoulders fall and responded, “Yeah, maybe.”

 

“Ah,” Dean nodded.

 

“It’s the rule of relationships, Dean. The man is always wrong. Always.”

 

“Well, in case you didn’t notice – Castiel and I are both men,” Dean mentioned with irritation.

 

“Well, yeah, I guess –“

 

“No, no, there’s no guessing. I can confirm it,” Dean interjected.

 

Chuck rolled his eyes. “I’m just saying, in this dynamic, you are wrong. Always. Even if you are very, very, right. Castiel has to figure things out on his own.”

 

Dean sighed, contemplating the conversation in its entirety. Who knew that Chuck of all people would be giving him relationship advice? “I don’t know…I don’t know if he’s going to come back from this. I mean, physically, sure, but mentally? I know what it’s like to have a bad spill. The longer you go without getting back up the worse it gets.”

 

“So, be the one who helps him get back on.”

 

 

 

 


	14. Author's Note

First of all, let me apologize for teasing you all with this update.... It happened to me recently with a fic. It's soul crushing, I know....

There's good news and bad news to this post. So let's start with the bad news.

Bad news is, this story is 100% abandoned. I no longer have direction for it, and I'm just not happy with the way it's gone.

Good news is, I attended the Rolex this last weekend and it's rekindled my love for eventing and everything horses. It's been over a year since I've ridden due to military obligations, and I feel that assisted in demolishing my desire to write For A Horse With Wings. But now....I want to continue. I will not be completing FHWW, but I will be writing Dean and Castiel in the eventing world. I've mapped out a story with a better line of sight to where I want to take it. I'm unsure of what I'm calling it right now, but look for it very soon!

Keep me honest! Don't let me stop writing this time :) Let's go on a journey!!!!

SEE YOU SOON!


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